Holy Crap

I just surfed past the opening disaster on tonight's Canadian Idol and watched eight youngish people absolutely massacre The Who's My Generation. If I were The Who, I would sue, for a lot of money.

Not being at work is impeding my blogging, but I am sure it will get back to normal later this summer.

Confession #2

I have watched all three seasons of Canadian Idol. Why, you may ask? I am not sure. Let me just say that I have never seen American Idol or the original Pop Idol. I can think of many reasons not to watch Canadian Idol. These include: Ben Mulroney (and his terrible wardrobe), Jon Dore (and his awful facial hair and unfunny comedy routines), bad singing, bad song choices, bad music in general, the ubiquitous cheese factor, and Sass Jordan (I mean, if she could sing, she'd still be singing, right?).

The waiter who won the first season can't sing. In fact, many of the finalists are appalling singers. It drives me nuts that many of these people will get record contracts, when many can't play an instrument or write a song. It's mostly lame music.

I know what you are thinking. You are wondering why I watch it. Let's not forget that, aside from the snoopisms, the search term Canadian Idol sucks brings many people to this blog. I watch it because the cross-country search for "talent" is hilarious. It's amazing to me that so many people would volunteer to make fools of themselves on national television. I also watch it because I need to break out of my pop culture vacuum. The real reason I watch is that I don't have cable and there are very few choices on Tuesday nights.

Technorati Tags: confessions, Canadian Idol

Commobore

I really feel sorry for all of those Canadian Idol wannabees. Imagine being forced to sing Lionel Ritchie songs. I can't decide which is worse: listening to the terrible songs or singing them. I had to cover my ears a few times. Oh, the horror. Besides, the whole program was a one hour advertisement for the boring man's new album of soporific disasters.

Bad as it was, it was more entertaining than watching Lionel's daughter, Nicole, make an idiot out of herself with Paris Hilton.

Tags: Canadian Idol, TV, Lionel Ritchie

Canadian Idol

Let me just say that I know the show is silly. It's ridiculous. My only excuse is that it's summer. I would never watch a show like this in winter. The results show is the worst, mostly because of the opening "number" which is cheesy, juvenile, and profoundly embarrassing. Personally, anyone who wins this talent contest is doomed.

I finally clued in to the show's demographic. Judging by the results, the viewers are either middle aged women or adolescent girls or both. How else can one explain the fact that Joshua Seller, the person with weakest, most nasal voice, and a disturbing resemblance to the Greatest American Hero, has made it into the final eight? On the other hand, Kaleb Simmonds was placed in the bottom three. He is light years ahead of anyone else in terms of voice and musicality. Those 2 million Canadian viewers are voting by looks alone. It's a popularity contest, not a music contest.

Tags: Canadian Idol, TV

Canadian Idol

I know you've been waiting for this. In my defense, I have to say that I got hooked again after watching the early shows. There is a good deal of comedy in these auditions. I only watch two reality shows, so that's not too bad, is it?

Brandy Callahan is out, and it is clear that the vote had nothing to do with talent. She is a better singer than Joshua Seller and Manoah Hartmann (not to mention Shane Wiebe). Trouble is, she is short and overweight. So, Canada is clearly voting for the attractive people first. It's a shame.

The show is ridiculous and anyone who wins should remember that it is a popularity contest based largely on how you look, rather than talent, not that there's too much of that in the show. If this show goes into a third season, I'll pass. Believe me.

Tags: Canadian Idol, TV

Waiter Boy Wins Canadian Idol (my last word on Canadian Idol)

Congratulations to Ryan, winner of the manufactured-pop-idol-of-the-moment award. The fact that this was the most popular Canadian television show of all time is depressing and alarming. What is the viewing demographic anyway? I imagine that those people drooling over Ryan are either pre-pubescent girls or middle-aged women? Am I wrong?

He was not the best singer. Gary Beals could out sing him, and so could Billy Klippert. But, I suspect that Billy is thanking his lucky starts that he didn't win. He was saved the embarrassment of having to sing that inane piece of fluff that will be the first single. It's an abysmal example of song writing. It's boring, stupid, and, as Farley Flex said, "Walt Disney-esque." Is that the best they can do?

Oh, and how the hell did Tyler Hamilton get into the top 11? He is the most nasal singer I have ever heard. He has zero musical skill. He makes me cringe.

That's enough on that topic. Let's hope that the worldwide Idol craze dies very soon.

Tags: Canadian Idol

Canadian Idol sucks

After being somewhat amused by the first few episodes of Canadian Idol, mostly because of the parade of truly terrible singers (who can forget Konnichiwa by Tarcisio Tancredi?), I have to say that the show has degenerated into a complete disaster. It is based on the flawed premise that a good voice is all one needs to be a star. There is no interest in talent. It's clear that the producers think that Celine Dion and Mariah Carey are talented!

The show's producers should have paid more attention to Global TV's Popstars. Where are the winners now? I saw Sugar Jones CDs in the delete bin (where they belong).

Some of my favourite singers have weak or unusual voices. I refer to people like Leonard Cohen, Tom Waits, Neil Young, Billy Bragg, Lou Reed, and Bob Dylan, none of whom would have had a chance of winning a contest like Canadian Idol.

I think Jake and Farley's criticism of Gary Beals said everything. He didn't sing the song exactly like Percy Sledge, so it was a bad performance. In other words, they want singers who imitate the artist they are covering. So much for artistic license.

Tags: Canadian Idol

It's been a while. Since my last post, we have put a new roof on the house, taken a vacation and had the kitchen torn apart (it is still in disarray). One room is about to get new drywall, plus some much needed electricity. Ah, yes, electricity. The blackout blacked out the last part of my vacation. We spent 41 hours and 10 minutes without power. I thought that they had forgotten us, until CBC mentioned our neighbourhood on the air. A flood in a transformer building (or something) extended our outage.

I admit that I have been watching Canadian Idol. I got hooked during the first episode. I couldn't believe that people with zero talent could attempt to pass themselves off as real singers. It was painful to watch and sometimes hilarious. For a brief moment, I felt that I could do better. Who knows?

Recently, I have read:

Oxygen, by Andrew Miller (excerpt)
Portrait of an Artist as an Old Man, by Joseph Heller (review)
Spadework, by Timothy Findley (interview)
Travels by Night, by Douglas Fetherling
Gone Indian, by Robert Kroetsch (essay)
Tomorrow in the Battle Think on Me, by Javier Marias (review)

Later.

Tags: renovations, reading, blackout, Canadian Idol