Killer Coke

Killercoke.org is a fascinating site. Just make sure you don't type killercoke.com, or you'll end up in a corporate Coca Cola site. There is a quick re-direct to cokefacts.org that most web surfers would not even notice. This stinks, if you ask me, because I am sure that Coca-Cola would never permit anyone to redirect traffic from a URL that is almost identical to coca-cola.com to any other web site.

I hope everyone turned their lights out for the hour between 8:00 and 9:00 PM.

Coke and Pork and Worms

I need your help. Have you seen one of the several videos floating around the web that show people pouring Coca-Cola onto raw pork? After a few minutes, the worms crawl out of the meat. Now, my first thought was: Who the hell would drink Coke if it is noxious enough to force innocent worms from the comfort of a slab of pork? Well, I'll allow that Coke mixed with rum is OK.

The now infamous video seems to have been removed from YouTube, but any web search will find videos that support or refute the allegations along with a few humorous attempts to show all manner of biological entities emerging from pork, like plastic rabbits. Some argue that Coke simply makes a nice marinade. Others argue that pork is infested with worms (trichinae) and will cause trichinosis. I have heard that there has not been a case of this in Canada for years. Who knows what is happening in the USA.

I'd try this myself, but I don't drink Coke and I do not want to support the corporation, despite occasionally purchasing Dasani, primarily because it is usually stocked here. Did you know that Dasani isn't even spring water? It's tap water that has been remineralized. Have a look at the ingredients. Yeah, that's right, it's water with ingredients.

So, if you are willing, go out any purchase some raw pork, throw it into a dish, and pour some Coke on it. Let me know how it turns out. I'll trust you.

Technorati Tags: pork, coca-cola, trichinosis

Diet Coke is an Atrocity

With apologies to those of you who actually like this shi...stuff.

The first time I tasted Diet Coke, I really believed that I was being poisoned, or at least that this substance was about to induce vomiting. First, there was a gag reflex. And then I started clawing at my throat like someone being suffocated. I ran to find an appropriate place to spit it out. It tasted so bad, I asked the person I was with to taste it for me.

The conversation went something like:

me: "Taste this."

them: "Why."

me: "I want to make sure I am not being poisoned."

them: [sips; hands it back]: "Tastes just fine."

me: "You can't be serious. This is what I imagine carbonated embalming fluid tastes like."

I remember thinking that if I were blindfolded and forced to taste and identify this carbonated atrocity, I would have made the following guesses:

1) antifreeze
2) liquid aluminum
3) refrigerant
4) aftershave
5) WD-40
6) melted vinyl
7) my grandmother's urine
8) someone's IV drip
9) pond water
10) some sort of truth serum forced on people before interrogation or being sent to the gulag

It reminded me of my first cigarette. I felt like I might throw up or that my chest would explode - in other words, the universal sign that your body is trying to tell you that you are poisoning yourself.

Besides, it contains aspartame, a substance that is banned in children's products in Europe. And, just to show you how omniscient my comments were, I offer this:

"Aspartame is made of 3 components, 50% phenylalanine, 40% aspartic acid and 10% methanol (wood alcohol). In the body methanol breaks down into formaldehyde (embalming fluid) and formic acid." (source). By the way, formaldehyde is a neurotoxin and a carcinogen.

That made me thirsty.

Technorati Tags: Diet Coke, aspartame