I Want to Strangle Franklin The Turtle and Elliot Moose too

I am sick of Franklin, that sniveling little reptile featured in books published by Kids Can Press. OK, so the books had good reviews at the beginning, but I think this turtle's time has come. After all, the books are no longer written by the originating authors, and I think they might have run out of ideas. Since it is unlikely that anyone will listen to me and make turtle soup out of Franklin, I will offer two suggestions.

1) rename all of the books "Franklin Learns a Lesson" since that is what happens in most stories.
2) make Franklin a teenager, so that they can move of to new story ideas, like "Franklin Gets Laid" or "Franklin Gets an STD."

Of course, since there seems only to be one family of each species in that crazy village, it would mean either incest or bestiality (or maybe that would interspecies sex, since they are already beasts).

Oh, and one other thing would make me happy, and that is a new book about Elliot called "Elliot's Funeral." Then, they could change the insipid theme song from "Elliot Moose is on the Loose" to this far more interesting and satisfying lyric:

"Elliot Moose is in a Noose."

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