Pillows and more on Last Chance U

They looked fluffy, and I was worried, but they flattened out nicely under the weight of my head. Oh, thank you Quality Hotel, thank you. You saved me from a stiff neck. Yes, that has been my curse: pillows that make it feel like I am sleeping on a concrete block; pillows that force my chin into my chest or force my head back so far when stretched out on my stomach, it feels like I am being given slow whiplash; pillows that cause major neck destruction, and every hotel has them, or so I thought. Who can sleep on a pillow that thick? It makes no sense at all. Do you walk around with some brace forcing your head into your chest? Of course not, so why should your pillow be 10 inches thick?

I have actually resorted to folding up towels and putting them in pillow cases to form pseudo-pillows in my hotel travels around North America. On other occasions, I have dispensed with the pillow entirely, like in Edmonton, where the room had 8 pillows, all of them part of a sinister terrorist plot to ruin my cervical vertebrae. The CIA might consider recruiting hotel pillows as part of its torture program against extrajudicial Al-Quaeda captives. I think such pillows would be more effective than waterboarding.

But, thanks to the Quality Hotel, I was able to get a good night's sleep and enjoy my conference at the U of Zero, as a colleague calls the U of O.

Back to the topic of Last Chance U, it could be Lakehead. I recall this university being derided when I was in high school, and so I did a brief web search and found this comment about Lakehead:

i can´t go on with saying that you are the worst in canada because i don´t know all of canadian universities. but i can say you are one of the suckiest in ontario.

you are down there with nipissing/windsor/laurentian. i would personally go to the baby university (uoit) than your crappy school. (link)

Maybe there are several last chance Us. Happy Friday, people.

Late Trains, Ex-Cons, and our own Mr. Bean

I am not sure if I am ever happy to be in Ottawa, especially not in winter. It's so freakin' cold in the nation's capital, which is probably why we have so many corrupt politicians. That kind of weather would make anyone sour and turn them criminal. Just ask our cab driver.

We hopped in a cab at the train station after an extra long train trip. Our four hour trip became five hours because of some delays, like a broken down train ahead of us. It is a little odd to be suddenly moving in reverse, tracking over ground we had already passed so that we could change tracks and skirt the dead train ahead. Anyway, we made it, somewhat later than we had planned. Then, we were off to the Ottawa Market were I had a salmon fillet that cost $29 plus two $8 glasses of Shiraz. Maybe that is why we have so many corrupt politicians.

Our taxi driver decided to be our personal tour guide, pointing our things like the RCMP Headquarters, the University of Ottawa/L’Université d’Ottawa, and the old jail. And then he added that "I did time there in '65." At least we knew it wasn't for murder, 'cause he'd have been locked up for a lot longer than that. He had tats all over both hands, and I assume over the rest of his body as well, which is odd because he looked so clean cut otherwise. I guess he has rehabilitated himself. I regret not asking what his crime was. Maybe he had been a corrupt politician?

And then it snowed again. It snowed a lot more.

* * *

Every time I travel with a certain colleague, he manages to be the source of immense amounts of unintentional hilarity. For one thing, he can sleep anywhere. He slept in the car most of the way back from Brock University (the real Last Chance U, if you ask me, even though Google thinks it's Carleton). He slept in the most uncomfortable chair I have ever seen while awaiting the beginning of a lecture at McMaster University. He managed to sleep for most of the train ride back from Ottawa, even after mentioning that he woke up at 3:00 AM the previous night. And, he blamed it on jet lag after his flight back from Shanghai, even though I assume that he must have slept the whole way back :-) The funniest thing is that he always puts on his coat and wears it like some sort of sleeping bag, with the hood pulled down over his face. I'd post a photo (which I have) but perhaps I better not do that.

Anyway, I can't give you a rundown of this man's hilariousness: that would consume way too much time and space, so I'll just leave you with one: when he stood up from our breakfast table at some dubious and curious breakfast & lunch chain, he managed to spill all of the water on the table, leaving us all baffled but laughing. It doesn't sound funny, but it was. I guess you had to be there.

* * *

I read most of Will Self's Dr. Mukti and Other Tales of Woe on the train ride to Ottawa. He's a good writer.

the snow is falling

since my left shift key is broken, i am forgoing capitalization.

the snow, perhaps the leading edge of another promised winter storm, is falling in ottawa. it makes me wonder if this will affect the train.

this wireless network at the hotel is anemic and it bumps me off every minute or two, so this will be a short post.

i have to get on my coat and trudge up to the university of ottawa, which some folks call 'last chance u." and i thought that was brock...