A Lost Bet (part five, the final part), in which I listen to the last of five CDs
Recap: I lost a stupid bet about movie dialogue (both the dialogue and the movie are too embarrassing to mention) and my punishment was to listen to five CDs of the winner's choice. The final CD is Monster Ballads.
I am not sure if I have saved the best or worst CD for last. Just looking over the cover filled me with trepidation. I didn't think I had heard any of these songs, but I did know one. I recognized lots of the band names. We have Warrant, Poison, Whitesnake, Europe, Cinderella, Extreme, etc. I'd say that the only thing missing is Beth (the KISS high school slow dance favourite).
The tag line on this CD is "Every bad boy has his soft side." On the back, there is even a picture of a hand with a lighter! Rock on. I have always felt that these hard rock guys put a power ballad on their albums for two reasons: the first is so that their fans - long-haired, earnest young men - will have a chance to score with their girlfriends (if they are lucky enough to have one; if not, it gives them a slow dance option). The second reason is that the ladies will request this song at radio stations around the world, because they are sick of the metal, and it will shoot to number one. And, you have to admit, it never fails.
And now, on to the CD. I have heard Almost Paradise. It sucks. Mr. Big sucks. Warrant sucks. I have heard Carrie before. It is unremarkable. Maybe it's the exhaustion of losing this bet and having to list to so much strange music, but I can only manage to summon the word suck. Maybe I need a thesaurus. How about this CD stinks. It is appalling, dreadful, frightful, horrible, horrific, shocking, terrible, abhorrent, abominable, detestable, obnoxious, offensive, repulsive, and revolting.
Is that too harsh? I am sure that there is someone out there with fond memories of some of these songs. If so, I am sorry if I have offended you.
P.S.
No I know why Poison is called Poison: the music is poisonous.
P.P.S.
Here is a good diversion.
Technorati tags: music, Monster Ballads
8 comments:
Well.
What this teaches you is that you should make smarter bets.
I like power ballads...so yes, you have offended me.
Beth
P.S. - I got a score of 377 on that game from clicking once. I prefer Tetris.
Maybe I was unloved when those songs came out, and that has influenced my opinion of them?
P.S. Really, I got 1954.
Mayhap that was the case, and you are indeed bitter and jaded about such obvious love songs...or it's a gender thing...
Hmm...my highest score is 985...i don't think 1954 is possible...or, you have clearly mastered this diversion
Jade
Jade, Beth...I can't keep track.
ha - most guys would love to be able to make that statement...
Mr Big, isn't that "More than words is all I ever needed you to show then you wouldn't have to say that you loved me 'cause I'd already know"? Yes, I remember lyrics, it's a curse.
After playing that game for two seconds I discovered that it is impossible to get a score above 485, and anyone who says otherwise is making up stories. :)
either that or they are wasting lost of time. i just got 2282, so there.
I burned my finger while raising the lighter high at a concert once.
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