A Lost Bet (part three)

But first, on my way in today, listening to The Smiths, I recalled a dream I had last night. In the dream, I was asked to sing the national anthem at some major sporting event in a huge stadium. The crowd was enormous. Anyway, I walked out, stood before the microphone, and forgot the words. The crowd took over, keeping up with the music. I decided to sing along with the crowd, but I lost the tempo, and, so, I was seriously out-of-time. The whole thing was a mess, and I was chased from the field by an angry mob. It turns out, that in my dream, I was a lousy singer. With that in mind, I move on to the third CD I am forced to listen to.

This dream provides a good segue to today's CD, for I have decided that Bon Jovi cannot sing. I am in the midst of the disastrous Keep the Faith. I am not sure I will be able to make it to the end.

The AllMusic Guide's description really sums it up for me. They write: "the New Jersey-based quintet developed an ingratiatingly melodic and professional variation of hard rock -- one that appealed as much to teenagers as to housewives." Therein lies the issue for me: I am neither a teenager nor a housewife. Let me also say that I object to AllMusic's comparisons with Bruce Springsteen. AllMusic would have you believe that Bon Jovi merged aspects of Def Leppard with Bruce Springsteen. If you ask me, it's more like Rick Springfield and Twisted Sister.

And that voice! It's like fingernails on a blackboard. I don't think I can take it. I'd rather listen to Boney M or Gloria Gaynor or even Milli Vanilli. Here is perhaps the most surprising thing: I had never heard any of these Bon Jovi songs before. It's true. Oh, and I say that "I Want You" is the worst song on the CD.

So, in the end, I am comfortable reporting that Bon Jovi sucks! Now, I need some Tylenol.

Three down, two to go.

Technorati tags: music, Bon Jovi, dreams