An old excerpt from my pen and paper journal...(part 2)

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I thought of my thesis, even felt guilty that it was languishing in another directory. But, my day was set. I looked forward to the all-request-nooner, the mail delivery, Tetris, lunch, and a few minutes of rap videos on Much Music in the afternoon.

Mail was never very interesting, but it was a diversion. It wasn't my thesis, it had to be done, and so I did not feel guilty taking that short elevator trip down six floors to the lobby. I hated it when mail was late. Every day, I met a short Chinese woman in the lobby whose whole life seemed to revolve around the mail. Why was she always there waiting for the mail like a dog staring out the window hoping his owner would show up? We never spoke.

I liked most songs on CFNY's all-request-nooner. I used my small cassette player in the den because the sound from the stereo did not travel very well down the concrete halls from the living room.

In a Tetris haze, I could see nothing but probabilities. When I made a mistake, I knew how the program would punish me. I'd get a square I couldn't use or an L shape with no place to put it. My vision distorted. Things went grey at the edges, like I had tunnel vision.

I dreamed Tetris. I had nightmares of falling shapes, yellow against black. I had nights of terrible restlessness that eventually blended into A___less morning sleep.

If I was lucky, the songs on the radio went with the game. Pink Floyd's Comfortably Numb was the essential Tetris song. I had become comfortably numb.

One more game and then I will get on with chapter two. OK, one more game and I will re-read my introduction. OK, just one more game and I'll have lunch. Lunch was good. I had to eat lunch, so lunch was not procrastination. What's wrong with catching the headlines on the news? I needed to be informed. After all, I am doing an MA in history. Just get the headlines and then work on the thesis.

Wait, a good story on dogs is coming up. I like dogs, so what's wrong with watching that? The weather? Why not? I may have to go outside. The weather is important.

OK, just a quick channel surfing session and then I'll be set. OK, stop there on Much Music.

to be continued ...

Read part 3

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