Lessons from my Sister
This post is kind of an interlude between Portrait of my Brother as a Young Man and a yet-to-be-written post, Portrait of my Other Brother as a Young Man. Without her, I am not sure when I would have learned three essential life skills. She taught me:
1) to blow bubbles (with bubble gum)
2) to snap (the sound produced by rapid movement of a finger from the thumb tip to the base of the thumb)
3) to whistle
And, she showed me a tampon long before I even knew what menstruation was - although I never had any use for one, being a guy. One night, when she was babysitting my brother (the one you already know about) and me, she submerged it in water so that we could see it grow.
Let's see, what else? I had my first cigarette with her. Smoking didn't take, but my brother (the one you already know about) became addicted almost immediately and, as a pre-teen, was given the nickname "Puffer."
For my 16th birthday she, along with her boyfriend, presented me a book as a gift, the only time, it should be noted, that she ever gave me a book. It was: Xaviera's Supersex: Her Personal Techniques for Total Lovemaking by Xaviera Hollander. It's like the Joy of Sex without the class.
This is all true.
Technorati Tags: sister, family history
11 comments:
Heh. Everyone needs a sister like that.
I thought you wrote Tampons glow in the water HAHA If that happened then I would be worried!
Indeed. Who needs radioactive tampons?
and did Xaviera's musings teach you everything you needed to know on the subject?
Yeah watching tampons grow in water is pretty neat. Needing to use them sucks. I'm guessing your sister is older than you? By how many years. My sister is 4 years younger than me, she has a 4-year old son and owns a penis-shaped cake pan. My brother is 2 years younger than me and like women and song (as in women singers), Buster Keaton Shorts, and little known actors like Andy Devine.
Anon, I already knew everything I needed to know by age 12 :-)
SHJ, My sis is four years older than me. A penis-shaped cake pan? I'm shocked. Are Buster Keaton Shorts an item of clothing or short films?
I knew I was missing out on cool stuff being an only child!
i love this story ZF; first chance i've had to come by and check it out. Im glad you had a sister like that!
OH MY GOD!!!!
I read Xaveria the Happy Hooker when I was like, eight or nine. I amso glad that someone else knows who she is.
I love you for writing this.
I feel like I missed out by not reading Xaviera's Supersex: Her Personal Techniques for Total Lovemaking by Xaviera Hollander.
I'm adding it to my list of must reads.
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