Portrait of my Brother as a Young Man
This post was inspired by Large Marge Hayes and a few posts at The Cynic Ward.
At age 15, my brother impregnated his 21-year-old girlfriend (ex-hooker; ex-junkie - or at least we thought she had moved on from soliciting and heroin). She took up a new line of work as a welfare mom. Don't get me wrong: I am not one of those conservative anti-welfare people. But, she clearly abused the system, and later, she abused her children.
This was in his pre-obesity phase, or his warming up to obesity phase, when he would consume one loaf of bread and half a jar of peanut butter every day after school. I think he admired a guy who lived around the corner from us. This man weighed at least 400 lbs and started every day with a case of 24 beers at his feet. In summer, he sat on a large wicker chair and downed them one at a time, never getting up to go to the bathroom, making me wonder if he had some sort of catheter system going. He rarely spoke and the kids would either tease him or watch him. Some tried to speak to him. My brother sat and chatted with him, but I have no idea what they talked about.
I think my brother admired this local freak show. If I had been entrepreneurial, I would have made an arrangement with this guy and sold tickets to his performance, which is sort of what it was. I should have built some sort of hut or got a circus tent for the backyard. I could have run pools on how much beer he could down and by what time of day. But, I am straying from my brother.
He got fat. He sought out the underbelly, and he fathered three children by the time he was 19 with a woman who encouraged him to steal, even from his family and from me. Eventually, her children were placed in foster care, when she and her new boyfriend were sent to prison.
Since then, he has held some essential jobs: gas jockey, slacker building superintendent who couldn't tighten a screw, and an overweight cab driver who can only walk with the help of a cane, or two. I still can't figure out how he gets in and out of the cab. I forgot to mention his hypochondria.
And that's the short story.
While the term redneck is not used where I come from, I think he has some of the characteristics.
Technorati Tags: brother, family history
18 comments:
He sounds like some of my students. The only advice I can give you is love and patience.
A character in a Charles De Lint novel had an interesting take on the term "redneck." She said that it was often misapplied since a red neck implied that the person got it while doing a hard day's work in the sun. As an alternative, she suggested "white trash." Heh.
Yeah, I think white trash is a better description of him.
[jx], LingLing's site is bizarrely fascinating.
You are all being unfair to the poor guy. He was obviousy besotted with the woman and cruelly seduced. No wonder he went to pieces when she took off with someone else. What he needs is compassion, understanding and maybe his jaws wired.
Excellent character sketch - few words paint a very clear picture.
We can only hope that things will some day improve for him, though it seems unlikely. Sad that his life was already declining at such a young age!
Also, remember not to use the expression "white trash" - that indicates that normal trash is black. Not cool. Just plain trash is ok.
Jay, that's interesting and I never thought of it before. Does the same hold for Euro trash?
This sounds just like my cousin's story.
At 15,he impregnated his 25 yr old teacher, who didn't get in deep trouble for this.
He dropped out of school to support the child he couldn't visit.
He turned to drugs instead of food for comfort.
I still love him, even though he's never totally "there".
it's strange...as much as those close to us can fuck us over, in our own silent, strange way, we still love them and seek to understand who they are...
"In summer, he sat on a large wicker chair and downed them one at a time, never getting up to go to the bathroom, making me wonder if he had some sort of catheter system going. "
Damn, that must be one strong wicker chair. And you know, your post makes me wonder - what is the difference between a redneck and white trash?
Wow that's depressing!! There's tons of welfare abuse over here with most of the population being teens who are moms. Brr on to a funnier TUES for mE!
Most teen mothers are loving and caring to their babies just like any other parent. Unfortunately it's only when the odd one leaves their baby to starve or some such thing that it makes the papers. (This is not to suggest I think every teen should go out and get pregnant. But once they have the baby, they're way descriminated against and that ain't right.)
superhappyjen--I don't know, every teenage mom I've known has treated their kids like shit and used them to further their own desires and garner sympathy. But, maybe I've only run across some really bad ones. Just seems to me that if you're 15 and can't afford to support your child, real caring would be to do what's best for the baby and place it with a family that could care for it in a financially, emotionally and situationally stable environment. Doesn't mean you can't be involved, there are a plethora of 'open adoption' agencies out there.
Zydeco Fish--which post of mine inspired this? It's very strange considering the newest post I've written but not posted yet. STAY TUNED EVERYONE!!!!!
We all have at least one somewhere in our family...
those poor kids.
Critical Darling. It was this one. For some reason, it got me thinking.
hey Fishie...wow, had no idea my site was bizarrely fascinating and strangely compelling...thats awesome! I loved your post!I find it strangely moving that Critical darling and i were inspirations...
i feel bad for your brother, though. I dont lack as much compassion as my site would suggest, really i dont
Part two, about my other brother, may be on it's way, so hang on for that.
Zebby: At the time, I saw them occasionally, but once my brother left the scene, and she hooked up with a new man (actually, he was the father of her second child - my brother's were 3rd, 4th, and 5th), I never saw them again. No one in my family knows where the children are. Sad, I know.
I've thought about it too, although I am not a fan of the made for TV movies.
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