As I was walking down the street, a bird fell out of a tree and landed on my shoulder. It was difficult to see it, because of where it chose to alight. Have you ever tried to look at your shoulder? I could feel its feet, gripping my flesh, making me a bit nervous. Just then, I looked to my right and noticed two other birds on a branch right near me. Clearly, they were siblings. I had no idea what kind of birds these were, and I felt foolish, because I should have known.
As I was deep in thought, trying to put a name to these birds, a man walked past carrying a black bear. I asked him if he knew what these birds were. They were owls. Yes, owls, but they looked like they had been bred with penguins. I panicked, ducked a little, looked to the sky, fearing I was about to suffer the same fate as Lord Sepulchrave, 76th Earl of Groan. My companion, to whom I hadn't paid any attention until then, clearly had no such fear. All I could think to do, once I had noted that the sky was clear, was to take these orphan birds to some sort of animal hospital or bird sanctuary.
I strapped them to my bike, and headed out, finally finding such a place. However, when the warden of the bird sanctuary inspected my owls, he concluded that they were stuffed. Indeed, as I ripped open the plastic bags that I had sealed them in, I agreed that they were plushies. But, as he left to finish building his grand piano, these owls became more animated and then I realized that they were hungry. Seeing no mice or other types of rodentia lurking about, I found apples in a neighbouring farm. I stole some apples from the hens, and fought my way into the dusty road (feeling a bit like the father in The Road, who finds ash-covered apples in a dead orchard), and tried to orient myself.
I decided to head south, toward the amber light, and then my son woke up and woke me up too. It was 4:55, and I never got back to sleep, but I heard the little one sawing logs for the next two hours, while my brain obsessed about things, like why I couldn't get back to sleep.