RiP: A Remix Manifesto

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This Movie is Broken

Last night, we attended an Open Roof Films screening of This Movie is Broken in the parking lot of Amsterdam Brewery.  Prior to the film, a Toronto band called The Little Black Dress (not to be confused with Little Black Dress) played a few tunes.

I guess it's common for more than one band to choose the same or similar names.  The difference here is the definite article.  I don't like the name at all. I think both bands should give up and try a new name.  Leaving that aside, I was not terribly impressed with the band.  The sound was OK and the music was not too bad, but I couldn't get past the lyrics and the vocals.  Maybe it just wasn't my cup of tea.  Anyway, on to the movie.

I love Broken Social Scene.  I like many of the offshoots too.  So, I was happy with the live concert, documentary portion of the film.  I enjoyed that part very very much.  As for the rest of the film, well, not so much.  In fact, I felt that the film was quite boring aside from the music, at least until we got to the twist near the end.  Yes, that was surprising and it served as a wake up segment.  But, I found that scene hard to believe though well done.  Still, it was enjoyable, and then we had a leisurely bike ride home along the very dark waterfront trail.

That's it.  Have a nice weekend.

The Road (The Movie) - Two Ratings

If the success of a movie is to be measured by how faithfully it translates the written word to the big screen, then The Road deserves a score of ten out of ten.  The cinematography is sublime.  The disintegrating post-apocalyptic world is rendered hauntingly and precisely.  It's a grey world with little to no colour.  It's a depressing landscape filled with dead trees, an ashen sky, burnt out cities, and roving bands of cannibals.  All of this is impressive and faithful to my reading of the book.

The plot, too, follows very closely that of the book and I have no issues with omissions or minor changes.  For this, I give the movie a ten out of ten and would argue that this film is the best possible adaptation of Cormac McCarthy's novel.  But, that doesn't necessarily make it a good film.  At the conclusion of the film, C. assessed it at 6.5 out of ten.  She might be right.

I really like the novel.  It is a gripping story and I read it compulsively.  Good books don't always make good movies, and The Road is a prime example of that phenomenon.   So, while it may well be a great book, the movie just doesn't work.  Still, I would give it a 7.5 because I liked the novel so much.

With the exception of Wonder Boys (as I often mention), I generally prefer the novel to the film adaptation, and so it holds true for this film too.  Read the book; skip the movie.

Star Trek

My one short review is: well, it didn't suck, but I thought it would have been better.

I have seen all of the films and many of the episodes from the various TV series. I liked the idea of rebooting the franchise with a new cast and a new look. In that respect, I would say that this film was far more successful than Enterprise, the lame Star Trek prequel series, made interesting mostly because of Jolene Blalock ;-) Well, and the doctor character was really good. Other than that, it stank pretty much, but I watched it anyway, hoping that it would get better.

As much I as like Leonard Nimoy, and as much as I truly believe that the character of Spock is perhaps the best character created in the Star Trek Universe -- except for T'Pol, of course -- it must be evident by now that Leonard Nimoy is not such a great actor. I didn't really like that part of the story line, maybe because his part in the development of the plot was rushed over way too fast. On the other hand, Sylar as Spock kind of works.

The movie is certainly enjoyable: there is lots of action, lots of things explode, people die. The movie does not drag at all. I didn't really see the need for the Kirk car chase flashback scene at all. I would have left that strip of film on the cutting room floor.

So, I give it a 7/10. Last night, my rating was a 6, but it improved with sleep. So that, ladies and gentlemen, is my lass ass review.

By the way, after the show, we caught Tales of the Uncanny, a 90-year-old silent German film at Dundas Square. A live soundtrack was contributed by Robert Lippok, Owen Pallett, and Do Make Say Think, one of my favourite bands. Sadly, the rain interfered. Damn you Mother Nature!

Oscars, part 11

Here is a prediction. Someday, an American production company will film an Americanized version of Slumdog Millionaire, probably under the title of Redneck Millionaire. As we know, there is a paucity of ideas in Hollywood. If there is any justice, Regis Philbin will get to play Regis Philbin. Who knows, maybe he will win an Academy Award.

Oscars, part 10

Good night.

Oscars, part 9

Why did they drop the brief clip when nominations are read? I miss that reminder or example. Instead, we see a bunch of clips of former winners accepting their awards. This makes no sense to me.

Oscars, part 8

Best Original Song: I was happy to learn that Peter Gabriel withdrew from the Awards. He felt that the one minute allotted to him for his performance was too short, and I have to agree. They should have cut the Hugh Jackman songs and allowed the nominated songs to be performed in their entirety.

Oscars, part 7

It's Heath. No surprise there. A few sad moments here. But, my question is: why does Kevin Kline persist with a mustache?

Oscars, part 6

I will say it: the Oscars are boring this year, very boring. Hugh Jackman singing and dancing doesn't help either. His second number is painful, unlistenable really. Where is Billy Crystal?

Oscars, part 5

[Gluten-free cake break].

Oscars, part 4

Thank god count = 1.

In other news, I think my knives are too sharp. I keep cutting myself on these new ones. My old knives were so dull, it took a good deal of effort to cut anything. These ones are so sharp, I can cut myself and not feel a thing, not notice until the blood drips onto the salad.

Oscars, part 3

Tina Fey and Steve Martin made me laugh.

Oscars, part 2

The set seems claustrophobic to me, like they don't really have enough space. Why do they insist on all of this looking back stuff? No wonder the show is so long. Do we really need to be reminded of who won Oscars 70 years ago?

What ever happened to Ted Danson? I wonder this while watching Whoopi Goldberg. What's up with Goldie Hawn's boobs?

I think they might need more draconian methods of keeping the thank you speeches shorter, like maybe a trap door that winners can be dropped through should they rattle on too long, like Penelope Cruz.

Oscars, part 1

It's not over, but I can already say that Hugh Jackman's opening number is kind of dumb. Dude can sing, but I am not enjoying this at all. Where is Billy Crystal?

Red Carpet #2

Robert Downey Jr. as Sherlock Holmes is brilliant casting, if you ask me. I am looking forward to that movie. I thought he was great in Wonder Boys. I loved that film.

I feel sorry for those accountants. Their tuxes just never look as good and they can't really get away with anything cutting-edge.

Red Carpet

As long as I don't have to see Joan Rivers on the red carpet, I will be happy. So far, this evening is Joan-free, and that is making me somewhat less cynical, but I am annually mystified by this spectacle of "who are you wearing?" One year, someone will walk down the red carpet with a real person draped over them. That would be something to see. Anyway, I give two thumbs up to Freida Pinto. She is quite a fetching lass.

Gran Torino

[...caution - spoiler ahead...]

I know, this movie is getting tons of love. It has won awards. It is raking in the dough. Critics say good things about it. People laud Eastwood's acting. Et moi? I am not so sure. I am not so easily convinced.

For one thing, the acting generally sucks. Someone cast a gang of actors that simply cannot act. Eastwood's acting is as to be expected. In other words, it is predictable. He speaks through clenched teeth like he is still Dirty Harry. He grunts, groans, and generally acts far cooler than is humanly possible for someone his age. But, that is not the problem.

I bet that the rest of the cast had never acted a day in their lives. It's not atrocious acting by any means, but it is wooden, stiff, and unbelievable. But, the major problem with Gran Torino is the transformation undergone by Eastwood's character. I don't buy it.

I don't buy his transformation from a racist jerk to a sympathetic angel willing to sacrifice his life for people he hated just a few days earlier. The audience salivates for a Dirty Harry bloodbath and are left wanting. Instead, we are left to ponder a huge self-sacrifice that is as troubling as it is unbelievable. And, the last sacrificial act violates one of the central tenants about the ethnic group he has come to know and understand: they don't talk, so all of the witnesses are useless and the last act is contradictory, pointless, and convenient.

On the other hand, the movie was free, so I don't feel robbed.

Movies Movies Movies

Yup, I saw some movies over the break. Which ones, you ask? Let me tell you:

JCVD - I should probably first point out that I had never seen a Jean-Claude Van Damme film. This was the first one for me. But, before I get to all of that, I just have to say that something odd occurred before the movie began. As usual, I headed to the bathroom to relieve my bladder. There's nothing worse than realizing that one has to micturate during a film. It ruins the film.

So, I head into the bathroom and am stunned to see a man standing in front of a urinal with his pants around his ankles. His large tartan boxer shorts were hauled down to just below his butts cheeks, offering an unobstructed view of his amble ass cleavage. In case anyone is confused as to why this might be strange, it is not socially acceptable to drop your trousers to piss in public. In fact, this should not be done in private either.

At first, I thought he must have been homeless, but he clearly had enough cash to pay his admission. I made sure my visit was a short one. And now, on to the film.

JCVD is a good film, but I think some of it must have been lost on me, since my knowledge of JC is very limited. I rate this a 4/5.

X-Files: I want to Believe - I want to believe that this is the last X-Files movie. If this is the best script they can come up with, they are in serious trouble. I give this disaster 0/5. It doesn't even really qualify as an X-File anyway. Besides, David Duchovny is Hank Moody to me now. And, why did they have to kill off Lou Ashby?

Let the Right One In - I saw this before the Christmas break. This is a really fabulous movie. If possible, I recommend that you see it without any foreknowledge of the plot or concept. I think it would make the experience even more interesting. This is a 5/5 film.

Alien, Aliens, Alien³, Alien Ressurection - I think this franchise proves the theory of the law of diminishing marginal utility, even if we ignore the AVP films. I would rate these as 5/5, 4/5, 3/5, and 2/5, respectively.

Planet Terror

In my opinion, Planet Terror only started to get going when Rose McGowan (Cherry Darling) got her machine gun leg, more than halfway through the film. I have no idea how she managed to pull the trigger; in fact, no triggering device was apparent, to me anyway. That didn't stop her from blasting the infected zombie-like dudes to smithereens with lots and lots of blood splatter.

I suppose if you are trying to emulate a grade b film, you have to go for the outrageous gore factor. Heads get blown off; one man's genitals melt away into a pool of bloody flesh; Cherry loses a leg; a helicopter is used to julienne some unfortunate diseased people (who look fairly disgusting). And, there is enough bad dialogue to please the most demanding b movie enthusiasts out there.

Rodriguez even tried to approximate the look and sound of a slightly beat up film. And so, we have blips and pops in the soundtrack, visible lines on the image to replicate a film that had been shown about 4000 times. And then there is the sound, the slightly muffled sound. I appreciate the effort, but I found this realistic homage to be very irritating. It was like sitting in an ancient review cinema that has only two speakers and one can barely discern what is being said. Beat up the film - yes. Destroy the sound - no, no, no.

Thanks to HMV's deals-of-the-day, I got my copy (double disc) for $6.99. It's essentially the price of a rental, so it was a good deal. I also picked up Death Proof for the same price, but have yet to screen it. I'll let you know what I think of it.