Oscars, part 11

Here is a prediction. Someday, an American production company will film an Americanized version of Slumdog Millionaire, probably under the title of Redneck Millionaire. As we know, there is a paucity of ideas in Hollywood. If there is any justice, Regis Philbin will get to play Regis Philbin. Who knows, maybe he will win an Academy Award.

Oscars, Part 3

I decided to skip the Barbara Walters special and now I discover that Regis Philbin is doing his red carpet thang. I have to say that Regis is a great name. I wish my parents had named me that. I am serious. If that isn't enough, his middle names are Francis Xavier. Astounding. What a lucky man.

A few observations:

- John Travolta's hair looks like a helmet.
- Laura Linney reminds me of Helen Hunt (but with a smaller forehead).
- Javier Bardem scares me, even when not in character and even without the worst haircut in movie history.
- Wow, I didn't realize that Daniel Day Lewis wears such serious earrings. I am not sold on them, though.
- 1 Billion people will be watching the Academy Awards, which is about 999,999,999 more than are reading this blog.