Short blogging vacation.

I'll be quiet until January 3rd, or maybe later.

Well, Christmas is coming and I thought that I should announce what gifts I am giving to all of you who read this blog, even the ones who are too shy to comment. I will be making a donation in your name to the Human Fund. Happy Festivus.

Technorati tags: Christmas, Human Fund

One day, the Noriega look-alike gave me roses. I think we were coming back from some horrible fast food joint, like Subway. He stopped at a street vendor selling flowers out of large white buckets. You know these people: they get dropped off in the morning, almost thrown out of the back of a white van in strange and no-so-strange places. I didn't know who Little Noriega was buying roses for, but then it all became clear. He turned, a smile coming into to pock-marked face, handed them to me, and then ran away. Seriously. It was almost a sprint. He said something like: "don't say anything."

There I was, standing downtown with a dozen roses given to me by a man who thought that I was his boyfriend (despite the fact that I was clearly interested in women). Anyway, I took the flowers back to my office where a co-worker said: "oh, those need water." He busied himself getting a vase and arranging the flowers. It occurred to me that perhaps he needed the boyfriend.

The next day, Noriega came by and read to me a personal ad had been planning to submit to a paper. He claimed that there was no longer any need, since he had met me. I corrected him and told him that he had jumped to conclusions. In fact, I wrote it down, since I wanted something on paper, given that we worked for the same employer. I worried that he would stalk me. He did show up a few times, but he finally got the picture. The worst part was really enduring Water World on the big screen. The rest was simply an irritation.

Technorati tags: relationships

$5 Coffee, Manuel Noriega look-alike, and Kevin Costner....

I am trying to remember when I capitulated, just when it was that I decided that spending $5 on coffee was OK. Yesterday's trip to Starbucks, which happens very infrequently, mind you, amounted to $5.12 for a grande-decaf-soy-no-whip-cafe mocha (laugh if you must). Back in the day, when I consumed caffeine, cow's milk, and gluten, I could get a coffee and a muffin for far less than that price. Yikes. It's a good thing I am not addicted.

Bizarrely, this reminds me of an incident from several years back, wherein a man made the moves on me. I'm not gay (not that there's anything wrong with that). Even if I was, the guy looked far too much like Manuel Noriega for my comfort. Before I knew what was happening, we had been to see Water World. I can't really say why I agreed to go. I put it down to my generally congenial nature. The movie sucked, but I am sure you all know that. Why is Kevin Costner permitted to make anymore movies. I mean, why do they give this man money? Quite honestly, I think I could make a better movie than Mr. Costner.

By the way, the Manuel Noriega look-alike then laid a huge guilt trip on me (after I clarified things), claiming that he was in love with me. He told me that he increased his anti-depressant intake and that he would surely fail an upcoming medial licensing exam.

Recently, I have begun to wonder if my choice of profession has caused people to make assumptions about me. I am not gay, but I am thin and neat. I have lots of gay friends. My father is gay (no, not really).

See: part two of this saga.

Technorati tags: Starbucks, movies, Kevin Costner, relationships

Wait, I did see one movie recently, on the tele. It was the abysmal About a Boy, starring Hugh Grant. I decided to watch it because I had read the book. I read About a Boy after reading High Fidelity, which was ok, but the movie didn't impress me much. Why John Cusack? He has a mouth like a black hole. His default expression is an "o" shaped mouth, if you know what I mean. He looks mentally challenged, in other words. And people think he is attractive?

I have to admit that I don't mind Hugh Grant too much, although I don't think he is good looking by any means, especially in About a Boy. His hair, in that movie, is far too pugnacious. Anyway, he always plays the same character, which works somehow. I laughed through the fist half of Notting Hill, but the remainder was lame. Who would fall in love with Julia Roberts; she has a mouth like a two-car garage (if you don't believe me, read this).

The boy cast to play Marcus in About a Boy was well-chosen. Somehow, they managed to find a kid with a face like a jack-o-lantern.

Technorati tags: movies, Hugh Grant, John Cusack, Julia Roberts

Sleep!

Finally, we have justification for sleeping-in. Two studies have reported that people who do not get enough sleep tend to eat more. Finally, we have a diet based on sleep. This explains my slim body type. Now, we just need confirmation that sex keeps one's weight down.

Technorati tags: sleep

Suddenly, the Rolex spam has become Movado, Dior, and Roger Dubuis spam. Oddly, the sig line of the guy who sent one message identifies himself as "rat-catcher." I think he is the rat. At least these messages are not profane, like others I have received recently. I can't even include the subject lines here without offending someone or making others blush.

I have been neglecting this blog recently. It seems like so much work just to login.

I haven't seen any movies recently. I am half way through Some Great Thing by Colin McAdam. It's OK, but it's not as good as some of the reviews would have you believe. I no longer trust reviews, although I have to say that the review of Eleanor Rigby (by Douglas Coupland) in the Star recently was right on. This link to the review will probably expire soon.

You can tell that this is a slow news day. Oh, today is National Cotton Candy Day, but I am not sure which nation it applies to. I'm just waiting for the National Chocolate Covered Anything Day.

Technorati tags: spam, reading, Colin McAdam, Douglas Coupland

It's been a sad week. The tragic stabbing incident has been hard to take because we knew these people. I can't really write more than that today.

What's the deal with shower caps? I mean, who uses these odd creations? I pondered that once more during my overnight at the Hilton on Sunday night. I was out-of-town for a one day conference. And, why are hotel pillows so thick? I don't use pillows in hotels because I always end up with a very sore neck. I just lie flat. In the past, I requested flatter pillows but no hotel could provide one. I have given up.

I feel small in a king size bed. I believe that six people could easily fit on a king size mattress - 12, if you piled them two-deep (that's an interesting thought). You can lie down in any direction and not hang over the edges. It's bizarre. I tried to avoid contact with the top quilt thing after reading that it was the dirtiest object in hotel rooms. I guess there is remnants of sex and bodily fluids and maybe some food. It's not a good thing to think about. I just peeled it back and slid into the sheets.

Since we have no cable, I enjoy channel surfing at hotels. For some bizarre reason, I ended up watching the Fabulous Life of Simon Cowell. The craziest thing in that show was the statement that he pays some dude $500 per week to look after his hair. If true, he is wasting money. He needs a hair intervention big time. He has the most pugnacious haircut I have seen in recent memory. I saw an old episode of Seinfeld. Yes, I still laughed, even though I have seen that one several times.

And now, I am back and strangely unmotivated.

Technorati tags: shower caps, hotels, pillows, Simon Cowell

I have to go to an all day meeting on Monday. I hope it is interesting.

Have a nice weekend.

“Yes to Yushchenko!”

Technorati tags: Yushchenko, elections, Ukraine

Snowing?

I am looking out the window of my office, and I think it might be snowing. Really. This is bad news. I prefer summer. Although, when I was a kid, I could hardly wait for the snow to come. One year, my brother and I cheered when we saw the first flakes coming down. I was four, I think. We convinced my mother to dress us in our snowsuits, and then we headed out, hoping to go tobogganing or build a snowman. After a few minutes, we realized that we would have to wait for a lot more snow to come.

Later, I became a cross country skier, until I realized that downhill was much better. I experimented with snowshoeing. Oddly, I haven't strapped on a pair of skis in years. Maybe I should take up skiing again so that winter won't seem so bad. In truth, I'd rather be filthy rich so that I could escape winter altogether.

Technorati tags: winter

I got back yesterday from four days off. It takes a while to get back into the routine. In the midst of the time off was a birthday party, my Grandmother's 85th birthday party. It was very good timing, as I have been researching my family tree. My great uncle was there, still spry and alert at age 90. I've learned that my family is long lived on all sides. My family tree has now expanded to 1300 names. I have found relatives in BC, Calgary, Detroit, Nevada, Florida, etc. I spoke with an aunt as well. The funny thing is that I have a newspaper clipping of her marriage announcement from the 60s. I expected her to look like that, but she was much older, of course.

I also spent some time doing research for a new article. My last one will be out in January. This one delves into new territory and should be quite interesting, I hope. For a few hours, I considered applying for a Ph.D., but then reality hit me and I reconsidered. I am not sure that I have the energy for that. Although, it would be a good way to use my sabbatical, since the part time program requires an eight month residency. Hmmm, maybe, maybe not. Maybe I should just do another masters degree. Is three too many?

At last, the first three seasons of Seinfeld are out today on DVD.

Marginalized is stuck in my head and I can't get it out. It's the best song on the latest Rheostatics CD.

Technorati tags: genealogy

Rheostatics @ the Horseshoe Tavern

Today feels like Friday, 'cause I am taking Thursday and Friday off this week. I am operating on very little sleep.

I didn't get to bed until 3:00 am, after having been to a Rheostatics concert at the Horseshoe Tavern. If you were there, I was one of the guys taking donations at the door (for the Alpha School and Huron Playschool). I was the slightly taller of the two guys at the door. And, if you are the rather drunk middle-aged school teacher who tried to kiss me, I hope you have a major headache today. I turned my head just in time so you missed my lips. Of course, that was hard, given that you grabbed my head with both hands. Does that count as sexual assault? I think it might, but who really knows.

So, the evening was bizarre. I cycled home at 2:30ish, and crashed at 3:00ish. I couldn't get to sleep, which usually happens after an evening of live music.

Tags: Rheostatics

Every time someone really devout dies, like the Pope or even a Hamas suicide bomber, I have to wonder what they have found on the other side, if, in fact, there is an other side. I imagine lots of utterances like "d'oh!", or "oh crap."

We rented a car on last weekend. I have mixed feelings about that. I love driving, especially new cars, but I feel like I am always being ripped off. I am thankful for my gold card (speaking of religion), 'cause the insurance part of renting has got to be a scam. The person beside me opted for the so-called peace of mind package at $23.00 per day! They have to be kidding. These cars have to be insured anyway, so what is this? It's a scam. Anyway, I was upgraded. That is both good and bad. I like the bigger car, but then you have to face the gas mileage issues. Anyway, the Impala is a smooth drive. It's not cool in any conceivable way, mind you, but smooth. Oh, and the sound system is pretty good too.

The Impala has that radio volume system I hate. When you accelerate, the volume increases. It decreases when you brake. I hate it with a capital hate. I would never buy a car that had that feature, unless I could disable it. It doesn't really work properly anyway.

It was a weekend of visiting relatives. The less I see them, the more I can't believe that I hail from the same genes. Maybe it's just the rural-urban divide. If I have learned anything one thing, it is that once you have lived in Toronto, you can't go back to the country. Well, it might be ok to go back if you planned to die within a few months. Any longer than that and you'd die of boredom anyway.

Tags: death, driving, relatives

So, Paul Cellucci thinks that Canada's proposed pot law will worsen relations with the United States. This is the same man who complained bitterly that Canada would not blindly follow George Bush in his illegal war in Iraq, which has since turned into a quagmire. Time has proven that our decision to stay out was the right one, even though half of America, for some bizarre reason, appear to agree with Bush.

We should remind Cellucci that he is a visitor here and that it is in very bad form to interfere with the internal affairs of the country to which one is an ambassador. Why haven't we sent him home? He is meddling. As I have said before, the war on drugs is ludicrous. What a waste of money. And, what's with this attention to pot. It's just a plant. Alcohol is far more refined and probably far more dangerous, and yet we have no problem with it. Pot is not a gateway drug. I have smoked pot and I am not a crackhead and I don't snort coke or inject heroin.

I think Cellucci is resigning soon, so hopefully we will get a more respectful ambassador.

Tags: Paul Cellucci, marijuana

I am passing, once again, on the offer of a free flu shot. The flu vaccine contains, among other things, formaldehyde, aluminum and mercury. It is not guaranteed to work. I won't give you a run down on all of the possible side effects (any Google search can bring up a plethora of real and imagined ones). I do know someone who is now off work permanently because of a bad reaction. My dissent really comes from the marketing campaign.

Ontario, as far as I know, is the only jurisdiction in the world that hands out free flu shots. There is no good reason for this. The campaign is based on guilting you into getting the shot. I worked in the largest Canadian teaching hospital for six years, and during that time, only the elderly, or those with respiratory or kidney problems, were encouraged to get the shot. I hate those ads that try to force me to get the shot, because I might get someone else sick. If someone is so fragile that they could die from the flu THEY should get the shot, not me.

Some health agencies in the USA recommend that children ages 6 months and older get the shot. You have to ask why US agencies would promote a substance that contains mercury to children after the federal government had legislated out mercury from all other vaccines.

The other troubling thing is that no one has bothered to conduct an epidemiological study in Ontario. We are giving out the vaccine willy nilly, but is anyone compiling statistics? Is there any way to even obtain meaningful data on the efficacy of this intervention? The fact is that very few people really get the flu. Often, it is just a bad cold. I don't deny that a flu pandemic would be a horrible thing. I am just not sure that pushing the flu vaccine, which may undermine one's natural immunity, is the best way to go.

Tags: flu shot, public health

I guess it's time to review the new Leonard Cohen CD, Dear Heather. The first thing I should say is that I am happy that there is another album and I am happy that I didn't have to wait five years for it to come out. I like this album, but not as much as his others.

Dear Heather has made me appreciate Ten New Songs, an album I had mixed feelings about. I think Ten New Songs is a better album than Dear Heather, mostly because I fear that some of the songs on the new one verge on Adult Contemporary. The production on the last two records is the problem: there really isn't any. But, Leonard Cohen at his weakest is light years ahead of most other artists. It's a treat simply to hear his voice and listen to the words. I hope we get to hear more from him in the years to come. This can't be the last album.

I have had a day of research. Some carefully-chosen music aided me in my chore. Jon Spencer Blues Explosion really helped me to get up the energy for reading several articles. Later, I resorted to The League of Gentlemen when my energy started to wane. There is just something so cool about Inductive Resonance (the live version , from Thrang Thrang Gozinbulx).

The other day, I spoke with someone who thought that I signed out books all day. She honestly believed that librarians spend their days checking out books. I have to say that I have always been bugged by the librarian stereotype and the general lack of knowledge about what it is that we do. Maybe we need to market more. The trouble is that there is a broad range of tasks that we do. Maybe we need new names. But, I have been an Information Specialist, and that was even worse. Public librarians and school librarians do vastly different things from Academic librarians (like me). But, we all have at least one Masters degree. That is not a very well-known fact. Maybe no one cares?

Tags: Leonard Cohen, Librarians

I have to say that I am disappointed with the results of the US Presidential election. It's a good thing that I don't live in the US, or I'd have to pack up and move to Canada. I just cannot understand why Americans would re-elect Bush. The war in Iraq, if you ask me, has exacerbated the terrorist threat. It is clear that the disarray in that country has given more freedom and encouragement to those seeking to attack the USA. Not only that, Bush seems to have given up on Afghanistan, and the fear is that the same people are slowly coming back to power. Not only that, the US missed a glorious opportunity to gain some ground in the misguided war on drugs. Instead, Afghanistan remains a huge producer of opium.

One house on our street gave out a Bic pen and a small pad of Postit Notes for Hallowe'en. What's up with that?

Tags: elections, United States, Iraq

Post Hallowe'en, Pre-Election

I'm back after a brief posting vacation. Let's hope John Kerry wins the US election. If Bush wins, it will be like Hallowe'en had never ended.

My horoscope was dead wrong. I thought that I was in for some expenses but, instead, money fell from the sky. Not a huge amount, but some.

I watched the re-broadcast of the pilot episode of Lost. I have a few questions. Why was the jet engine still working after the crash? The plane was ripped into thousands of pieces and yet the fuel lines were still connected? How is that possible? I have read something about plane crashes, and let me tell you, bodies do not look like that after a crash. In fact, investigators often have to put huge chunks of gunk (fused body parts) into vats and boil it so that they can separate the parts for DNA identification. It is unusual for bodies to be found intact like that. How did 48 people survive such a horrific crash anyway?

I'd make this a longer post, but I have to run...

Tags: TV, Lost

This is why I read the newspaper. Just yesterday's, I read that 65 million guinea pigs are consumed annually in Peru. Not only that, some Peruvian Scientists have bred a super guinea pig that weighs twice as much (and that means they only weigh one pound). They hope that other nations will accept these furry creatures as a new dish. I figure if you eat meat (and I do, after several years as a vegetarian) then anything goes. I really can't see stuffed guinea pig on any menus in Toronto anytime soon. You never know, they could be tasty little guys.

I am not sure what happened, but I have received a flood of Rolex spam. This is no exaggeration: I have received between five and six Rolex ads in my email box every day for the past week, and they are all from different addresses. If I really wanted a Rolex, I think I would buy from a reputable dealer. And, anyway, even if I were fabulously wealthy, I would never buy a Rolex.

Today is the day that the new Leonard Cohen CD comes out. I'll have to run out an get it at lunch.

I have no plans to attend any Hallowe'en parties. I never know what to wear. I guess I have yet to find my perfect costume. I have tried, over the years, a pirate (complete with puffy shirt), dracula, etc. Nothing seems to work. I am happy to entertain suggestions.

Tags: guinea pigs, spam