Ever since I found out that Santa Claus doesn't exist, Christmas has been somewhat anti-climactic. I still remember the day my sister led me to my parents' bedroom closet and showed me all of the gifts piled up on a shelf. It was the end of the innocence.

This year, once again, I ended up in rural Ontario, where my family is from. It's so unlike the city: it is snowier and much more conservative. It's like taking a step backwards in time. I have learned to keep some opinions to myself, or risk arguments. It's a strange land out there. Some of my relatives actually said that they are afraid of going to Toronto.

I saw some films during the break.

Meet the Parents really really stinks. Who likes this kind of adolescent humour? I wanted to turn it off, but decided to stick it out until the last ridiculous minutes. If you think the name Gaylord M. Focker is funny, this film is for you.

The Treasure of the Sierra Madre is a really excellent film. It stars Humphrey Bogart and is directed by John Houston. If you haven't seen it, you should. And, I learned something about prospecting-not enough to make me rich or become the centre of attention at a cocktail party, but something.

Woody Allen's Zelig is quite ingenious and terribly funny. It's a classic mockumetary. How is it that I missed it when it came out?

Spider (not Spiderman) is excellent. Ralph Fiennes has, perhaps, the fewest lines ever in a leading role. He just mumbles. It has a plot twist that you might figure out early, but even if you do, it doesn't ruin the film. It is depressing, but quite interesting.

I really enjoyed The Decline of the American Empire, even though I had to take my suspension of disbelief to a much higher level. How is it that Remy, an obese and unattractive man, managed to have seduced so many women? It makes no sense.

The last movie I saw was televised. It was the bizarrely popular My Big Fat Greek Wedding, or, as I like to call it My Big Fat Obnoxious Unfunny Movie. Whoever said that this was a comedy? Not only is it not funny, it is boring, badly written, badly acted, and badly directed. I can't even believe that is had a theatrical release. It looks so made-for-tv. There is zero chemistry between the lead characters. I mean absolutely zero. It just looked so contrived. Not to mention that the guy (John Corbett, I think) was so miscast. He is a reasonably attractive man, but the woman just did not fit with him. I mean, she is almost cross-eyed. OK, so I am being a little harsh here. The final word is, I can't believe I wasted two hours of my life on such crap.

And, what's with the advertisements? Every ten minutes on CBC, we get a barrage of ads at a volume significantly higher than the movie. It makes me mute. If they really want me to see the ads, then they should balance the volume levels for me. On CITY TV, they do something equally hideous. At first, the movies have long breaks, just to get you hooked. Towards the end, one has to endure ad breaks every 7 or 8 minutes. It really sucks. Oh, and I think I will have to boycott Canadian Tire because of their obnoxious jingle, "I'll start with you." Yuck.

Happy New Year to you.

Technorati tags: Christmas, relatives, movies, Meet the Parents, The Treasure of the Sierra Madre, Zelig, Spider, The Decline of the American Empire, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, CBC, CITY-TV