Ailing
My mother isn't dying, exactly. She probably has a good deal of life left in her, but you'd never know it to look at her. She's not old, really, but she looks it. Still recovering from a broken hip, she lies in a bed in a home because her mother, about to turn 89, can't look after her and will probably end up in some sort of retirement home herself.
I didn't ask if she is still wearing Depends and I didn't stay long enough to find out for myself, but I did wonder about the mixture of smells emanating from the facility. It was like the smell old, mixed with chicken soup, feet, and disinfectant.
The kids and I hovered by the end of the bed while I tried to communicate with her. No, she isn't quite sure how her hip was fixed, whether the surgeons used pins or not. No, she is not sure when she will be able to give up her walker, or when she will be able to walk farther than a few feet without assistance. "They tell me I'll be able to walk again," but she didn't sound very sure of her statement.
In the room she shares with three other women, there were two TVs competing with each other. The kids, not accustomed to the sight of people slowly dying, turned their gazes to the closest TV and watched a women in the final stages of labour, ultimately giving birth to a baby in a birthing pool. The scenes were tastefully done, but an old woman asked me pointedly if they should be watching such as thing as a woman having a baby. Imagine the nerve. Of course they can watch, I retorted, but I wish I had been blunter. She ambled past me in her walker, out to catch some excitement in the common room, I presume.
After 40 minutes, I could not longer resist the pleas to leave (but part of that probably had to do with the upcoming Easter egg hunt), and I had to admit that any longer might do psychological damage to me as well. We set off the door alarm on the way out, just as we did upon arrival.
My mother is on a waiting list for a bed in a home close to my sister's house. A bed should be free in two to four months, or, as soon as someone dies.
5 comments:
What a depressing post, Mr. Fish. Hope the Egg Hunt afterward was a bit more cheerful.
Sad for sure, but interesting that you had a scene of rebirth in amongst the frailty of life.
ZF that is terrible. Sometimes when people are older like your mother they dont see the point anymore. I know she says she will walk and so do the drs but if they dont sound confidant neither will she. I know a friend of the family that broke her hip and she passed away two or so years ago now. Thanks for sharing.
I'm sorry.
I agree about all of the birth images--giving birth on TV, egg hunt symbolizing new life (eggs), spring, and rebirth.
zf,
I'm so sorry about your mother's condition. And scenes like that aren't much fun for you or the kids either. By the way, the first time I read that second paragraph I thought it said it smelled like chicken feet.
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