I am not sure if I am ever happy to be in Ottawa, especially not in winter. It's so freakin' cold in the nation's capital, which is probably why we have so many corrupt politicians. That kind of weather would make anyone sour and turn them criminal. Just ask our cab driver.
We hopped in a cab at the train station after an extra long train trip. Our four hour trip became five hours because of some delays, like a broken down train ahead of us. It is a little odd to be suddenly moving in reverse, tracking over ground we had already passed so that we could change tracks and skirt the dead train ahead. Anyway, we made it, somewhat later than we had planned. Then, we were off to the Ottawa Market were I had a salmon fillet that cost $29 plus two $8 glasses of Shiraz. Maybe that is why we have so many corrupt politicians.
Our taxi driver decided to be our personal tour guide, pointing our things like the RCMP Headquarters, the University of Ottawa/L’Université d’Ottawa, and the old jail. And then he added that "I did time there in '65." At least we knew it wasn't for murder, 'cause he'd have been locked up for a lot longer than that. He had tats all over both hands, and I assume over the rest of his body as well, which is odd because he looked so clean cut otherwise. I guess he has rehabilitated himself. I regret not asking what his crime was. Maybe he had been a corrupt politician?
And then it snowed again. It snowed a lot more.
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Every time I travel with a certain colleague, he manages to be the source of immense amounts of unintentional hilarity. For one thing, he can sleep anywhere. He slept in the car most of the way back from Brock University (the real Last Chance U, if you ask me, even though Google thinks it's Carleton). He slept in the most uncomfortable chair I have ever seen while awaiting the beginning of a lecture at McMaster University. He managed to sleep for most of the train ride back from Ottawa, even after mentioning that he woke up at 3:00 AM the previous night. And, he blamed it on jet lag after his flight back from Shanghai, even though I assume that he must have slept the whole way back :-) The funniest thing is that he always puts on his coat and wears it like some sort of sleeping bag, with the hood pulled down over his face. I'd post a photo (which I have) but perhaps I better not do that.
Anyway, I can't give you a rundown of this man's hilariousness: that would consume way too much time and space, so I'll just leave you with one: when he stood up from our breakfast table at some dubious and curious breakfast & lunch chain, he managed to spill all of the water on the table, leaving us all baffled but laughing. It doesn't sound funny, but it was. I guess you had to be there.
* * *
I read most of Will Self's Dr. Mukti and Other Tales of Woe on the train ride to Ottawa. He's a good writer.
4 comments:
I love Ottawa. We'd like to move there.
And yes, I say that even knowing that it's a peculiar kind of hell frozen over in winter.
At least it wasn't in Winnipeg. There is cold and then there is Winnipeg cold.
I think I ate at the same restaurant when I was in Ottawa for the marathon about 15 years ago. They have one by the same name in Toronto by the St. Lawrence Market.
I am wishing it was snowing rather than raining torrentially. I need a "snow day."
I think I can beat your colleague. I used to sleep on the tile floor of the hallways in college. Sometimes I would pile up some books for my head, but not always. Filthy.
Now I sleep on couches and chairs in lounges. And last year I slept on the disgusting carpeting in my classroom, although I did have an afghan I kept in there to pad my freezing cold metal folding chair.
It does sound a bit chilly. ;(
I am happy to see you suffer corrupt politicians up there too.
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