Thursday, September 18, 2008

Then and Now

(Started 9:21 AM)

While strapping a helmet to my son's head, I reflected on my experience of learning how to skate. My mother tied a pair of used skates to my feet, pushed me out onto the ice, and sat in the heated area where she drank coffee and smoked. I had no instructors, no mentors, no guides -- aside from the speedy skaters flying past me on the expansive ice -- and no helmet.

Nor did I have a helmet when cycling or skateboarding. You'd have thought that children where expendable back then, especially considering that seat belts were rarely used, except for fun. Sometimes, my brother and I would buckle-up mostly for kicks and because it was a weird thing to do. That is even more interesting when I recall that my parents were not always sober when driving. I remember cruising down rural Ontario highways at 100 KM per hour after my parents had spent a night drinking with two other couples.

Six of them would pile into one car and hit the various booze houses. My brother and I stayed at a house with the children of these three unions, the eldest trying to exert some sort of control over chaos. At 2:00 or 3:00 AM, the parents would roll in and we divided into families: two families headed out into the darkness once again, and one family crawled upstairs to bed. After 45 minutes spent on the highways and side-streets, my dad would steer the huge Ford into the driveway and I would climb out, find my bed and sleep.

The most curious thing is that one of the drinkers in the sextet (there was no swinging, as far as I could determine) was a cop with the Ontario Provincial Police! But, this was back in the days when drinking and driving went together like ham and cheese. These were the days when kids could stand up on the front seat of the car to get a better view, or even crawl onto the back dash just to see if you could fit.

Oh, and there were no infant car seats. I think I was brought home from the hospital in a straw basket that my mother perched on her lap. Yup, kids were expendable and easily replaceable. I remember riding my tricycle and age three on the street in front of my house with no parents anywhere around. I knew enough to move aside when a car came. At age four, I walked to school by myself. The school was maybe half a mile away, but still. I sometimes wonder why I ever made it out of my childhood in one piece.

(Finished 9:25 AM)

8 comments:

A said...

I used to do all that too, and I'm only 20. Well, I couldn't walk to school because school was in town and town was about 6 miles away. One of my brothers, one of my sisters, and I did walk to the bus by ourselves though (in negative degree weather, in the dark, in knee-deep snow, with the moose that were surely hanging out in the woods... I kid you not. This happened.), but the bus stop was only about a third of a mile from our house.

tweetey30 said...

Wow. I remember when I was a kid we used to play in the street all the time too. Yes you moved if a car was coming or get hit. Now a days you always tell you children not to play in the streets. I know I do because they drive like hellions here in our street. I mean its a 25 mph and most are going faster than that.

Liz said...

I hate to sound like a cranky old person, but I think there was something positive about some parts of that. Children learned to be responsible for themselves and didn't just expect the world to take care of them. Of course, not all of it was good.

zydeco fish said...

Liz: Yeah, I hear you on that one.

Anonymous said...

I'm combining comments, because the Captain Correlli's Mandolin one is closed.

First of all, maybe kids were expendable (the thought of which amuses me greatly, by the way), but I kind of agree with Liz. It wasn't all bad. People might be more safer, but it's mostly because they are so shit scared of being sued. People in general haven't become intrinsically worse and therefor creating a more diabolical world our children are growing up in. We just talk about it more.

And the book. I have read it, and I did love it! I read a lot of really REALLY crappy books, but occasionally I come across one that is just amazing. One that reminds me, THIS IS WHY I READ. This book was definitely one of those, for all the reasons you mentioned. I was also quite fixated on the love story, being that I'm a girl and all, and thought it was wonderfully romantic. She saved herself. Forever. No sex. That's pretty amazing in my book.

Bridget Jones said...

Funny, we were just talking about this at work.

It is odd, isn't it? Think about long afternoons spent playing with no adult supervision/watchouts for weirdos. Have things changed that much?

Anonymous said...

It seems I missed much by being orn well into the eighties.
Though in Tazmania we didn't use seat belts, and my parents were a little lax in the helmet department.

Kate said...

I found the picture of my parents bringing me home from the hospital. My 3-year-old sister is in a carseat in the back seat and my mom is sitting in the passenger seat, holding me wrapped in a blanket. That's all. The weird thing is, big sis is in a car seat, so why the heck didn't they put me in one?!? I need to trot that photo out when she starts on her mom-loves-you-more. Ha!

Seriously, I think there are some things that were good for us like you guys said. There were potentially dangerous situations, though, and maybe we were just lucky. There was no sex-offender registry, but everyone in the neighborhood knew that "Frank" across the street was a creep... although I do remember going into his house. I think my mom went berserk when she found out.