Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Men's Rooms

Kinda gross: proceed with caution


Since I am on the general topic of Gross, I thought I would discuss the state of men's bathrooms. They are disgusting. I am not talking about the washrooms found in parks and other public gathering places -- I gather those are a no-go zone for most sane men and women. I am talking about men's washrooms is places like bars and restaurants and cinemas and malls and on university campuses.

Many women I have spoken with assure me that female bathrooms in these places are horrible, but, I can't imagine that you will find urine on the toilet seats in a women's bathroom. Please correct me if I am wrong. You see, some men will not lift the seat, perhaps because they feel that if they touch the seat, they will develop an incurable disease or maybe syphilis or herpes or whatever. Instead, they piss on the seat, without a thought for whomever might want to use the toilet after them.

Men leave toilet paper on the floors, draped over the seat (half in the water, half out of the water). Some defecate on the seat and the floor. I have seen feces smeared on the stalls. I have seen paper towels stuffed into the toilet, broken beer bottles on the floor and in urinals.

And, more and more, I have noticed that there are some men who will not turn off the tap. At least he washed his hands, I think, but it took me a while to figure out why these idiots leave the water running. It occurred to me that they do not want to touch the tap, after they have washed their hands, for fear of contacting an incurable disease or maybe syphilis or herpes or whatever. Men are pigs (except me of course).

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19 comments:

Critical Darling said...

Let me introduce you to the squat. This is a well-known female toilet ritual that--you guessed it--results in piss all over the toilet seat. When a toilet looks particularly disease-ridden, a woman will hover over it rather than covering it in toilet paper or making real contact. However, squatting really only results in a proliferation of MORE squatting, like a bathroom arms race. Once one squatter pees on the seat, the next resident doesn't want to clean the pee and sit down for fear of contact with said mystery pee. So, they squat too. So, yes, you were wrong. I have yet to encounter feces smeared anywhere thankfully, but broken beer bottles, vomit and toilet paper strewn about make frequent appearances. Also, don't forget some of the events females are prone to--that can make for some really disgusting things.

tshsmom said...

Critical-You beat me to the punch. I was just about to say the exact same thing. The only difference is that I have seen feces on the wall.

Jay said...

I call the squat "the hover", but same general concept of course.

Jake Porter said...

I am a janitor, I have seen just about everything in bathrooms.

ShellyS said...

Some women squat even if the seat doesn't look dirty. They just don't want to take chances. The worst women's bathroom I've been in tho was a place I used to work. There were at least 6 stalls and some days, all had urine on the seats, plus cigarette ashes, and the butts floating in the water cuz there were women who smoked in there despite the regs against it. Oh, and toilet paper everywhere. It looked like a cyclone had hit.

Anonymous said...

Comedian Rita Rudner once included a line in her routine about men and bathrooms, "If they hit anything they think they've done a good job." This entry made me remember that.

That being said, I would rather drive back home than subject myself to most public restrooms - the general grossness factor of them is one of the things that squicks me. One of the FEW things.

I've seen urine on the seats, feminine hygiene products used and discarded everywhere, and even lumps of used bathroom tissue on the floor. Ugh.

Even in a rather toney office building, I've encountered more than once, left-behind toilet seat covers (the tissue things).

What I really want to know is: What do these people do at home, where they don't have Janitors to give them a fresh bathroom to destroy every morning?

Liz said...

Don't even enter the changing room/restroom on the public beach in South Padre Island, Texas ... or any public restroom in south Texas for that matter ... it's too gruesome even to discuss here.

Super Happy Jen said...

My brother used to clean both men's and women's washrooms when his movie theatre was closed. He says that women are messier. This is likely because more women are using the washrooms than men and because men are not armed with bloody tampons.

Anonymous said...

I have major bouts of penis envy sometimes while in public restrooms (or outside) and the ability to not have to touch anything. I don't, however, envy the state of the bathrooms.

Yuck.

Jack Burden said...

I just want to thank everyone who posted here. For years, I have been embarrassed about the state of men's bathrooms, mostly because I figured women were far more advanced than we were, and understood that the basic structure of the toilet was intended to get one's waste IN the toilet.

Thank god for gender equality.

Jay said...

Hey. Me again. Sorry about that. But I just wanted to say that your wife's question was the funniest thing ever. I will definitely be conducting some in-depth research, but I'm going deep under cover for this one, and it may be a while.

Princess Wild Cow said...

Some day I'll tell the story of toilet paper lady...but I've had enough grossness for the day...ah, humans, who choose to be pigs!

zydeco fish said...

G, the worst toilet I have ever seen was an outhouse in a National park in Vermont, I think. The second worse was the one I used to share with four other guys in a house on Bathurst Street.

Chyrene Pendleton said...

I managed a restaurant years ago and in my experience, both men and women are nasty in the bathrooms! Women might be a somewhat nastier.

Anonymous said...

womens; are just grosser!! You got bloody tampons to deal with and piss on the toilet. Has anyone mentioned that here yet?

kingoftherabbits said...

Amazingly, I once had a male roommate who decided he should pee in the kitchen sink, because he was too lazy to go upstairs. Now THAT was disgusting.

But I'll add my vote for more disgusting women's bathrooms (although a great deal has been written on women's ability to plan their poop times resulting in NOT using public restrooms). I don't mind the squat, I've been doing it for most of my life myself, but I HATE the women who cover the seat with toilet paper so they CAN sit, and then leave it all over the floor rather than shuffling it into the toilet. And there's NO excuse for not flushing. Use your foot, for crying out loud.

carrie said...

good to know

~*~*~*~*~ said...

Well being sickened by the condition of bathrooms are one thing, but there are really very few "communicable diseases" you can get from a toilet. Herpes is NOT one of them.

I know the post was done in jest, but hey, if the opportunity arises, I am going to encourage people to get to know more about STD's and how they are spread.

Because Doc's do NOT know everything!

http://www.std-for-dummies.org/blog/

Gayla
STD's for Dummies Founder

zydeco fish said...

Gayla, Thank you for your comment. I should have said that there is no way to contract herpes from a toilet seat. It's amazing that some people think it's possible.