I will not celebrate meaningless milestones

I will not celebrate meaningless milestones
I will not celebrate meaningless milestones
I will not celebrate meaningless milestones
I will not celebrate meaningless mi

OK, so for whatever it's worth - and that's probably not much - I would like to announce or point out or draw your attention to the fact that this is post #500. Big deal, you say. So do I. Of course, if I had posted with any kind of regularity, I would have reached this meaningless milestone ages ago, maybe years ago. Instead, I am reaching this magic number 4 years in.

I am not suggesting that there are 500 good posts here, simply that there are 500 posts. Sure, some suck and should never have been published. There are far too many posts that are simply apologies for not posting. There are those insidious posts that manage only to say that I have nothing to say. There are a few posts that announce I am ill. And, worst of all, the posts that repeat the message that I am ill and add absolutely nothing of substance. I should have subtracted them, and kept a real tally of real posts, but the mathematics of this proved too much for me, and so I am simply relying on the Blogger stats, which may be wrong.

There are 30 posts I consider to be my favourites. There are dozens that should be recycled, and a few phrases I would like to put on a t-shirts and sell at overly-inflated prices.

To celebrate this meaningless milestone, there will be gluten-free cake and decaf coffee at 2:00 pm.

Thanks for the get well soon comments. They worked and I am, at last, well, but not well enough to write a real post.

Comment moderation remains on: to see why, read these posts: one, two, three, four.

Technorati Tags: blogging

Still Ill

Yeah, it' sort of like the Smiths song. I am still feeling terrible. This is day three of fever, chills, headaches, etc. This is really horrible. I am beginning to think it is the flu.

Technorati Tags: sick

Je suis malade aujourd'hui

I've come down with something: I have a fever, chills, etc.

The only thing I can report on, before going back to bed, is that I watched The Last Samurai during the weekend. I think Tom looks way too modern to play that role. He seemed completely miscast.

Technorati Tags: sick, movies, Tom Cruise

Rural Childhood, or Death by Automobile

I always chuckle when I remember a friend's recollection that half of his kindergarten class ended up in jail, not as kids, mind you, but later, when they had reached jailing age. It's quite a statistic.

My favourite story is the one in which a certain twin (I am not sure what the other twin was up to that day) tried to rob a convenience store with a garden rake. He had a difficult time even with the rake, for he had lost both thumbs in a motorcycle accident, and had a difficult time wielding the rake without opposable digits. I think the police managed to subdue him quickly and efficiently, before he was able to injure anyone.

That this guy was arrested has always pleased me, for my most enduring memory of him was that he fell in front of me during a cross-country skiing race in grade 8 and used his ski poles to try and trip me. That will never happen again, mostly because I haven't gone skiing recently, but I think a lack of thumbs might make skiing problematic.

One of my recollections of youth in a small town is friends and acquaintances lost in automobile accidents. I have a big list, starting with a major crash between our small town and the next. I think that three of five of the the passengers died in that crash, which was fueled by high speed and drugs. It ended in the destruction of the car and a tree. Seat belts were not really enforced back then.

Over the years, I lost a few more friends, like Callan and Philip and Leon, but these were, I think, sober accidents, the kind that might happen on open rural highways with fast cars. I am not sure if these stats are the result of lax drinking and driving laws at the time, or from excessive speed on rural roads, or from the fact that a driver's license was a requirement of life in rural areas. We needed licenses to get out of town or to transport ourselves to parties where we could drink and try to pick up chicks. Of course, I did not drink and drive, but I did accept rides from those who had too much to drink. That was a bad scene, and I am happy that I made it out alive.

Comment moderation remains on: to see why, read these posts: one, two, three, four.

Technorati Tags: youth, drinking, driving, death

Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan

I've tried compiling a list of adjectives to describe this film. Here are a few: juvenile, stupid, moronic, disappointing, ridiculous, dumb, boring, idiotic. Should I go on?

I can laugh at humour that is not politically-correct. I can laugh at dumb stunts, like Jackass. I can laugh at weak non-intellectual comedy. But, Borat simply stinks.

The fact is that most of the humour is cruel. I was amazed to learn that most of the scenes were not staged, making this seem extra cruel.

I really wish that Sacha Baron Cohen would have used a fictional country, rather than Kazakhstan. I am sure that had he done so, few people would have even noticed that the country was fictitious, and he wouldn't have slandered an entire nation.

So, there is plenty of low ball bathroom humour, but this is not brilliant film making. It is appallingly stupid.

I am off to the dentist to have my new crown installed. Later.

Comment moderation remains on: to see why, read these posts: one, two, three, four.

Technorati Tags: Borat, movies

Virginia Tech

Shocking news from Virginia Tech today. I am left wondering what it will take to finally convince lawmakers to make some serious changes to gun control legislation. It stands to reason that if you make the acquisition of guns far more difficult, there will be less violent crime and, hopefully, fewer incidents like this. I strongly believe that the right to keep and bear arms should not be entrenched in the US - or any other - Constitution.

Comment moderation remains on: to see why, read these posts: one, two, three, four.

Technorati Tags: Virginia Tech, guns, gun control

Comment Moderation is Now On

Apologies to all of the nice and friendly people who read and comment on my blog. I've been forced to enable comment moderation because I am being stalked by a small-brained Neo-Nazi from Australia. I personally feel that this unwanted attention is bordering on a criminal act, since I have repeatedly asked him to desist. Unfortunately, he continues to leave comments on my blog that are anti-gay, racist and - quite frankly - idiotic, nonsensical, grammatically-incorrect, mean, and boring.

So, he can continue to live out his hateful fantasies on his blog. He can continue to lie about the fact that I comment on his blog. I have no interest in his blog, do not visit it, and certainly do not comment on it. One day, when this stalker is dead, I will open up comments to all without moderation.

Please don't let this stop you from commenting. I am only filtering out the biggest asshole on the web.

Technorati Tags: blogging, comments

Work & a Dream

I'd really like to post something interesting today, but I have to work on a (mercifully short) presentation for an upcoming conference. And then there is the other conference presentation, but it can wait, as it is several months away. And then there is that article I am supposed to be writing - two actually - but I have been stricken with an odd feeling of disinterest that might have been encouraged by lengthy periods of procrastination and ambivalence.

I have a cold too, and that always serves to kill the energy. If only I could build some sort of bed under my desk, Like George Costanza did on Seinfeld, things would be so much better.

So, all I can offer is this: I only remember bits of the dream, but it centered around Air Canada. They canceled my flight somewhere and bizarrely, they attempted to make it up to me by presenting me with all kinds of gifts, like tickets to MarineLand, a coffee maker, shoe polish, shiny buttons, pet food, a year's supply of laundry detergent, canisters of oxygen, a bushel of green peppers, paper clips, Hank Williams Jr's Greatest Hits on CD, a piranha in fish bowl, and a pound of gummy bears.

All items were presented in person by an Air Canada pilot in uniform who showed up unannounced at my house.

OK, so enough procrastinating...

Technorati Tags: dreams, work

Another One Down

Tonight is the last class - the critique class - in my most recent photography course. This makes four down. If I take 6 more courses, I will get some sort of certificate, but I am not sure I want to do that, even though I have taken 2 of the 3 required courses. There is the possibility that the requirements of the courses displace the natural joy I would normally receive from the creative output.

For the last six years, I have been switching back and forth between writing courses and photography courses, unable to decide which I prefer. I seem to get into one mood or the other, hack away at it, and then switch. Some days, the creation of a blog post is pure magic; at other times, it is a labour most severe. I think the flipping back and forth offers the possibility of breathing new life into the art.

I have taken a few kernels from this blog and expanded them to some greater lengths in the hope that a collection might form, however randomly and incoherently. What I would do with such a collection is quite another story, but the idea of it is enough to convince me to fire up the laptop, from time to time, add a few paragraphs, consider the words, remember, reflect, enhance, embellish, and lie. I always wonder if my recollections of past events bear any kind of resemblance to the actual fact, but, having been trained in the craft of historical research and writing, I say that matters little for the value may be in my skewed perspective.

Perhaps I will take a course in deejaying. I'd like to get down and scratch some vinyl.

Technorati Tags: writing, photography

Hairy Dream

In what might better be described as a nightmare, I dreamed that I grew a beard. Now, you might not think that this is such a big deal, but it is. The adolescent boy begins to have a fascination with facial hair at an early age, and by this I mean too early an age. In other words, he might begin experimenting with a beard years before he is able to fully grow one. Or, what's worse, he might be satisfied with a mustache, such as a 14 year old can grow, and let me tell you, this is not a pretty sight.

This descent into bad taste may not be enough. So, although he may well shave off the facial abomination, it doesn't mean that the fascination has ended. So, many, like me, decide to grow a beard, perhaps in University when one can least afford it. In the pursuit of women, a beard is of no assistance, something I learned far too slowly. Well, it was of no assistance to me anyway. And yet, I grew a beard twice, once in my undergrad and once during my second masters program, where clearly the Library of Congress Classification System messed with my head so much that I had to experience subject headings personally.

Then there was an extended Christmas break one year when I ventured into the territory of the Van Dyke, but I shaved it off when my boss said: "I don't like that," and a co-worker said: "you look old and decrepit." My dad, of course, was no less candid and announced that I looked far too hippyish for his tastes. He clearly worried about the influence of drugs. His style of haircut centered on the crew cut or the brush cut and he would have gladly paid to inflict that on me.

I've learned that, unless I become totally bald, I'll stick with a clean-shaven face, but I do have the urge, from time-to-time, to try a Robertson Davies or a ZZ Top beard, but that would take far too long, and I'd get bored.

Of course, many men carry off a beard very well. They just do not seem to agree with the shape of my face.

Technorati Tags: beards, dreams

Easter

Easter reminds me that my parents were failures in some aspects of child-rearing. When I realized that the Easter Bunny did not exist - I have no idea how old I was - I suggested that my parents hide our Easter goodies so that we could have an old fashioned Easter Egg Hunt, something I had never experienced. Normally, our eggs and other chocolate paraphernalia were piled into a basket and placed at our reserved eating spaces at the kitchen table.

In response to my suggestion, my parents (obviously having no idea what an Easter Egg Hunt was all about) simply placed the baskets under our beds. I looked under my bed, and there it was: my Easter basket. My siblings found their baskets under their beds too. So much for that.

Later, I wondered if it was all about equity. What if one child found more eggs than the others? What then? Maybe they were just too lazy to hide the bloody things.

2005's Easter post was much better.

My week off is almost over.

Technorati Tags: Easter, holidays

Even More Keyword Mayhem

Because I am taking it easy this week on the blogging front, I'll post something easy. Here's a new list of some keywords used to find my site, mostly for my amusement. I can't imagine why you'd even be interested.

why is wearing makeup to bed bad - if you have to ask that question, there must be something seriously wrong.

how the greater flamingo got its name - it's the opposite of the lesser flamingo?

fractured penis pictures - I wonder if this is for comparison or perhaps an insurance claim?

asian fashion low crotch pants - from a curious chap in New South Wales!

beach "brother penis" - perhaps this searcher, from Greece, would have more luck with: beach "brother's penis"

portman+square+orgy - not sure how this led anyone here. I wonder if that is Natalie Portman.

Natalie Portman erect nipples - Hmmm.

"chinese word for toilet" - no idea.

fucking the dog used as an expression for slacking at work - someone from Ontario, no doubt.

large breasts, gaynor - Gloria?

fish - freud phallic symbol - sometimes a fish is just a fish.

nympho librarian - I'm under the impression that this is a myth, but I'll keep my eyes open.

dead budgies - Yup, I wrote something about dead budgies, but why not try the image search.

wrinkled old man in his speedo - my dad!

farting tight jeans - fetish?

wearing jeans and sandals - if you are looking for the green light on that, I'll have to plead ignorance.

what are the lyrics to franklin + turtle
kfc jingle mp3
canadian tire jingle - OK, so some weirdos keep hitting my site because I panned that idiotic Canadian Tire jingle, which is so horrible, even Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody is better. Why would anyone want hear this again? Same goes for KFC & Franklin.

silk ascot pictures - Why!

recording of the farting post - I could do a podcast of that one, I suppose.

hanks porn - Tom Hanks, or do you mean hank's?

library, fish turd from toilet - I am assuming that fish is a verb here. I can't imagine.

Technorati Tags: searching, blogging

We now return to our regularly-scheduled programming...


...almost: I am taking a week off work, so I might end up blogging erratically. You never know. If I had been more with it, I would have posted an April Fool's joke, but it seemed like too much work. Google had a few good jokes today.

Technorati Tags: blogging

A Reply to kate from Budgewoi, NSW

I was going to post this in a comment on the original post, but I decided to put it here instead.

kate from Budgewoi NSW wrote:

"Will silly americans ever get it right..."

I am not American! Had Vest or you bothered to read my site or its subtitle, you both would have learned that, plus a whole lot more, but maybe you don't know where Toronto is?

"vest is a master at spoof, harmless as a kitten,..."

A master of spoof? If you think his homophobic insults are spoof, you are as bad as he is. If he had read my blog, he would have learned that I am a nice guy, not to mention the fact that I am not gay (not that there's anything wrong with that), but that wouldn't matter to him anyway. If he hates you, the worst insult he can think of is to accuse you of being gay. That says enough to me about him.

Prejudice has no place in civilized society. He is uncivilized and certainly not harmless. He might as well put on the KKK uniform. His views are out-of-date, hurtful, and opposed to fundamental human rights.

He can't have it both ways. If he wants to throw insults at me and my readers, he should be a man and use his real name (whatever that is) or his blogger name with a link back to his blog, and not hide behind a myriad of pseudonyms.

"...it was he who was goaded initially but few of you are unaware of it..."

What do you mean by "few of you"? Do you mean bloggers? Do you mean Americans? I have never once goaded him. He came to my blog uninvited and acted like a school yard bully. The fact is, Vest and I share similar heritages, but, since his plan of action is to insult, and not to be informed, he never learned that. And, I assume you meant, few of you are aware of it.

Let him retaliate. What's he going to do, call me a faggot, again? It's very tiring and predictable.

"like you hateful people are doing right now."

Vest is the hateful one. He's the one calling people faggots and cock suckers, not me. By defending him, you are as bad as he is. Why do you think I am hateful? I can't defend myself? I asked him several times not to comment on my blog, but he just couldn't help himself. I kept deleting and deleting. He left over 80 comments on one post on another blog.

"I know the guy, you only think you do and wished you could."

Maybe. I am a student of history, and have a graduate degree in history. I have studied war, and wrote a thesis on foreign policy which focused heavily on some military conflicts. When I read about his role in the Royal British Navy on his blog, I was intrigued. The fact is, if he had engaged in web 2.0 discourse like a civilized person, we might have gotten along. But, why would I want to know a bigot?

"ps. Is it a privilege americans have , and that is strike down or bully and not expect retalliation?"

I am not American. You meant retaliation, not retalliation, right? Bully? You are defending the biggest blog bully I have ever had the misfortune to encounter! I think you are also referring to the American Government and the American Military. Trust me, I am not fan of American foreign policy, and, I think that the war in Iraq is obscene. If you or he had read my blog... but I have already said that.

"I feel so sad for you"

Don't. I feel sad for you that are you defending a racist, a homophobe, a sexist, and someone who clearly has no idea what he fought for in WWII.

Technorati Tags: trolls, John Leonard Spencer, Leslie John Bowyer, Christopher Leslie Bowyer, assholes, losers, homophobes, racists, sexists, fascists

59

Here's an interesting piece of trivia. This is post #59 this year. Did I ever fall off the blogging bandwagon last year! In 2006, I posted only 58 times, down from 220 posts the year before. Perhaps I needed a rest.

Dentist

After my recent cleaning, I had to return to be fitted for a crown. I'm feeling a bit like Thomas Levy in the Marathon Man at the moment, except that I am fairly sure that my dentist is not a former Nazi SS dentist from Auschwitz. Still, I had several needles to freeze the area, drilling to remove the old filling, more freezing because I could still feel the drill, more drilling, grinding, filling, more grinding to reduce the area so that it could accommodate the final crown by which point the freezing was mostly worn off, and since I hate the feeling of the freezing, I opted to finish the procedure without it, and so endured a great deal of pain.

Jail Guitar Doors

This is a great story. Billy Bragg has donated six guitars as part of a new program called Jail Guitar Doors, named after a Clash song. "Ex-prisoners who have actively participated in such sessions have a re-conviction rate of between 10% - 15%, compared to the national average of 61%." Who would have predicted that learning to play the guitar would have this outcome?

Sopranos

I am psyched for the return of the Sopranos on April 8th. Sadly, it's the end of what is probably the greatest show in the history of television.

Technorati Tags: blogging, dentist, music, tv, Billy Bragg, Sopranos

He'll be Dead Soon

Look at this face, if you can. I know it's hideous, distorted from a permanent sneer, from a rage brought on by the fact that the world is filled with people he hates. They don't share his racist, homophobic, sexist, and fascist views. He's angry that he has been crippled with impotence, that he smells like an old person, that he is rotting from the inside out. The good news is that this coward will be dead soon. He's half dead now.

Meet John Leonard Spencer, sometimes known as Leslie John Bowyer or Christopher Leslie Bowyer or Les Bowyer. He is the person behind dailygaggle[dot]blogspot[dot]com. He's also the moron I wrote about in this post.

This is the man who has been posting anonymous comments on my blog. It's easy to slander people when one can hide behind a fake name. I deleted most of asinine comments, but some are still there.

Here's an example of the hateful garbage he writes. In my post about Facebook, I left a comment that said:

"Oddly, half of the librarians here are on Facebook..."

His reply was: "And the other half faggots"

This gives you a good idea of this man's values. If he hates you, and he hates everyone, he hurls anti-gay insults. John Leonard Spencer called me a c&#% sucker. It's obvious that he hates himself. I think he should just come out of the closet. What do you say, Leslie?

Johnny has written a book called Waving Goodbye to a Thousand Flies and, because he could not find anyone stupid enough to publish it, he did so himself, via Tafford Publishing, a vanity press that lets any incompetent, uneducated, imbecilic, moronic person publish any drivel they want, as long as they pay for it. He must have saved his cash from his years working as a rent boy. To complete the vain cycle, he comments here and there under the name Leslie Bowyer, to drum up interest in his book. Of his own book, he once said: "I found the book Wholesomly [sic] interesting with few dull moments." It's fraudulent and desperate.

Here's what the reviewers are saying about John Leonard Spencer's book, Waving Goodbye to a Thousand Flies:

"Never have I seen such awful writing. Spencer is a man preoccupied with himself, probably from an early age, when he developed an addiction to masturbation and a love of phallus-shaped vegetables."

"If we judged books by how conceited the author is, Spencer deserves a A+"

"The errors of syntax overwhelm the book. It is difficult to read a book that is so laden with obtuse remarks, and so lacking in any kind of coherent structure."

"A Dog of a book."

"Two thumbs down, way down."

"The publisher should be executed."

"Waving Goodbye to a Thousand Flies is obviously written by a man that has spent most of his life masturbating with chronic frequency. It's clear that he is now impotent, but he has fond memories of bashing the bishop and shoving foreign objects up his rectum."

"Spencer gives credit to Freud's theory of the Oedipus complex, except that he never outgrew it. Spencer is a mommy's boy."

I'm not the only one he has felt the need to pester: he has been trolling tshsmom's site too. He is like an adolescent school boy, desperate for attention.

Beware of this loser. Too bad Blogger won't let us block by IP address.

Host Name 218-215-2-161.people.net.au
IP Address 218.215.2.161
Country Australia
Region New South Wales
City Sydney
ISP Swiftel Communications

Technorati Tags: trolls, John Leonard Spencer, Leslie John Bowyer, Christopher Leslie Bowyer, assholes, losers, homophobes, racists, sexists, fascists

A Visit with a Sadist ... I mean Dental Hygienist

The mere fact that the chair reclines, speaks of torture. Sure, the chair might be comfortable, at least for a while, especially since it's after work, and hours of thinking about issues, problems, and the endless meetings. So, it's not so bad to be fully reclined in a comfortable chair, even if the ceiling tiles are unspeakably ugly. You'd think in this environment, someone would pay to have something nice on the ceiling, like a plasma screen with peaceful images flowing through the neon and xenon. Instead, there's a few square feet of tile decay.

I sat down, felt the chair roll back, affirmed that I was comfortable, and hoped that she would leave me alone for a few minutes so I could get some sleep. Instead, I heard the jangle of the instruments being readied.

Some famous comedian once observed that dentists tell us not to put sharp metal objects into our mouths, only to put sharp metal objects into our mouths when we visit them. Aside from the needle and the drill, they rarely inflict serious pain on us. But, the dental hygienist, at least mine, has a different method of operation.

I believe that she was hired from some secret spy organization - like the Alliance of Twelve - that uses dental torture to extract information like coordinates, access codes, bank account numbers, and shoe sizes. She could be gentler if she wanted to be, but I believe that she inflicts pain in direct proportion to the amount of flossing she thinks we are not doing. It's getting worse too and it's clear to me that, as she ages, she has less ability to moderate the amount of pressure she uses when she stabs the sharp pointy metal implements into my gum line.

After my last visit, my mouth was is so much pain that I found it difficult to brush for a week. I suppose, as an inducement to floss more, it might work. Frankly, I'd like to hire someone to floss my teeth for me, or maybe I could train a monkey to do it.

Technorati Tags: dentist, pain

Facebook & Enemies

Well, I finally set up a profile on Facebook, using my real name, not my fishy alias. Aside from the fact that there is no one there from my graduating year in high school, I have only one concern, and you might call it an enhancement request.

When someone adds you as a friend, you can either reject or confirm this action. So, if they are not your friend, you reject. If you hate them, you reject. If they have friended you just because you have listed Captain Beefheart in your musical preferences, you can go either way. But, I think it would make far more sense to be able to add a list of enemies. This would be useful for certain colleagues (the close-talking type). I refer to him as a Facebook whore, because he seems to inhabit that space to the detriment of all else. He found my profile mere minutes after I had set it up.

Then there are those high school losers, who wouldn't really qualify as friends, simply because you knew them (so far, no one like that has crossed paths with me). Maybe it would be more appropriate if they were enemies.

And, finally, we have trolls like Bozo the Brit. He must have very low self-esteem, if his idea of amusement is to leave mean comments on my blog about other people.

By the way, I considered adding a profile to Assbook, but I am far too shy for that.

Technorati Tags: Facebook, social networks, friends, enemies

The Close Talker and the Egomaniac

I still haven't figured out what term best applies to him, but my colleague has been described as a buffoon, idiot, and moron. I am sad to report that I can add Close Talker to the list. Glass of wine in hand, I orchestrated a creeping backwards maneuver, with him in close pursuit, until we were no less than six feet away from where our conversation began only ten minutes earlier. This is how snakes move - silently and inexorably, millimeter by millimeter until they swallow their pray or find a place to warm up in the sun. The good news is that we ended up beside the open bar, and I turned to my right and said: "red wine please." She refilled my glass.

My back should be sore, for it was arched away from him, trying to avoid his breath on my face, the light random drizzle from his mouth, and his exploding Ps. If anyone had been paying close attention, they would have approached me and offered to push me upright. When the dinner bell rang, I found a good seat in the middle of the room and chose a chair that afforded me a good view of the podium, so I would not have to twist my head around like an owl to see the person speaking. The bad news is that I sat right next to an egomaniac.

A simple question turned into a 15 minute exposition of how freaking wonderful she is, and then on she went about her grants, her research, her publications, her life-long interest in learning. I got the whole story of her childhood and how she was the first woman in her class to attend college. I had to sneak in that I was the first person in my family to attend University. She bulldozed over that. It was exhausting listening to her. But, there was free wine, a substance that can counteract the effects of a poison.

Technorati Tags: dinners, colleagues, work

Confession #4

While living in residence, during my undergrad degree, I watched The Young and the Restless. Yes, it's true. Gary S. had two things in of importance in his room: a coffee maker and a TV.

I had a discussion recently with a friend about residence, and I recalled that I lost three things in residence:

1) A magnetic chess set. I am certain that Peter D. has it. Please mail it to me.

2) An old-fashioned toaster. You know, the ones that permit toasting only on one side, and then you have to turn down the sides and flip the bread over. Look at this page if you want a general idea of what it was like. If you are wondering what I would do with an old toaster, since they are now so sophisticated, I would turn it into a guitar amplifier.

Sharon B. has my toaster, but probably sold it ages ago in a lawn sale. She had a Camaro too and a very very short boyfriend who looked like a shrunken version of Ricardo Montalban, without the muscles, charm, wardrobe, or looks, and with an unfortunate mustache, the kind which 16 years old boys try to grow. Now that I think about it, he looked nothing like Ricardo Montalban.

3) Two coffee mugs. Gary S. has these, or had them.

Several of us, including Running42k, if my memory is serving me correctly, kept mugs in his room, and we all made a daily trip at 4:30 to drink coffee and watch Y&R.

All of this not that terribly interesting, but I have to confess that I got hooked. It was like crack. In the summer, I tried to fit my work schedule around Y&R. I would work late shifts at the bar, rather than early ones, so I could see the show before coming in to work. My dad did not have a VCR, so taping was not an option, but I did make a few trips out to a friend's place to see the shows that she taped if I missed them.

After my addiction passed and I tuned in after several months of staying clean, I discovered that absolutely nothing had happened for months, except that some other dude was playing Jack, and we all had to pretend that it was the same guy. It was like when they swapped out Kinchloe on Hogan's Heroes for some other black guy, because they assumed that no one would notice.

Anyway, I am ready to start pursuing my acting career, and I plan to start with a soap opera. If you know anyone hiring actors, please let me know. I could do a good Victor or Brad.

Technorati Tags: confessions, tv, Young and the Restless