Palin is Dumber than Dubya!

Sorry, but I couldn't resist another political post. I have to hand it to John McCain. The ancient dude found someone even stupider than George W. Don't believe me? Well, check this out.


1) Sarah Palin has no idea what the Vice President does (10 seconds):



2) Sarah Palin thinks that the VP is in charge of the United States Senate! (50 seconds):



And why do all of her answers sound like she is being scored in a beauty pageant?

3) Sarah Palin has no idea what the Bush Doctrine is (2:34):



4) But, wait! She can see Russia from Alaska! (1:28):



5) "Most pathetic piece of tape I have ever seen..." (2:26):



7) Women should be forced to bear rapists' children (2:07):



8) Sarah Palin can't name a single newspaper she has read (45 seconds):



9) Sarah Palin is stumped (2:05):



10) John Cleese says she's "a nice-looking parrot" (1:22):



Honestly, she makes Mr. Bush look like a genius.

Obama

Boy, Hilary Clinton really messed that up. It was her campaign to lose, and she did just that, not that I care, really. At the outset, I merely hoped that the Democratic party would nominate someone who could defeat the Republican nominee, who, in this case, is an old man who loves war. Why elect someone who wants to bomb Iran?

Electing John McCain is just as bad as electing George Bush. Please don't do that. This is a chance to undo the damage caused by eight years of idiocy. The war against terror started off well enough. Even I supported the action in Afghanistan, but then it went off the rails at the hands of lying president. But, this has all been said before.

I know, some people will read this and curse the ravings of a so-called left-wing blogger. I don't define myself as a left-wing blogger, although my sympathies are clearly with the left. This may have something to do with being Canadian and our pseudo-socialist state. What most Americans call the left is really the centre in Canada.

The other thing I find astonishing is that the right denies global warming. I have even heard it referred to as the "global warming fiasco" on right-wing blogs. Is this because Al Gore (a Democrat) is the leading spokesperson for the movement to curtail pollution? Can the right wing really be that dumb?

Fire Destroys Bush Presidential Library

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - A tragic fire on Monday destroyed the personal library of President George W. Bush. Both of his books have been lost.

Presidential spokesman Ari Fleischer said the president was devastated, as he had not yet finished coloring the second one.

George W. Bush vs. Dan Quayle

It's really amazing how my mind wanders when I am cycling. Some of my best ideas occur while cruising the streets. Here's an example from yesterday.

Somewhere on Bloor Street, I concluded that George W. Bush could take Dan Quayle in a wrestling match, but only if it were Greco-Roman style. In the WWE format, I predicted Dan would prevail, probably because he would bring out a chair and break it over Dubya's head. And, that made me wonder about other combative events:

Boxing - I'd put my money on Dubya. Single-mindedness is key, and Georgie has that in spades.

Pistols at Dawn - Bush, probably because Dan would run away and most likely trip and fall in the dirt.

Fencing - Quayle, because I think he has a touch of flamboyance that would suit this sport well and I think he is probably very light on his toes.

Kick Boxing - I'd predict a draw.

Judo (or other martial art) - Bush. In fact, I'd wager that George could split timber (and possibly concrete blocks) with his forehead.

Oration Contests - Like kick boxing, I predict a tie. I mean, who could decide between:

"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."
- The Quaylster

and

"Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country."
- Dubya

February 26, 1991

On this day in 1991, Tim Berners-Lee introduced the first graphical web browser, called WorldWideWeb. This is all great and, Lord knows, I appreciate the web immensely. My problem has always been with the letter W. How many times have we had to say double-u double-u double-u? This is one of the few times when I can see the wisdom of George W, when he says dubya, I mean, he has eliminated a whole syllable. Suddenly, my nine syllable utterance could be reduced to six, but I still can't bring myself to say it. A colleague simply says "world wide web" instead of the Ws. Damn the person who came up with this addressing nomenclature. This is a 3D map of the web, from http://www.opte.org/.

A Political Detour
"Bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb Iran" - John McCain

The American presidential primaries are a fascinating spectacle. There is a part of me that sympathizes with a couple of Russian journalists who once said that the entire world should be permitted to vote for the president of the United States because the actions of the US government affect almost everyone in one way or other. That is very apparent in Canada, considering our deep personal, cultural, economic, and political ties. After all, the USA is our largest trading partner. Unfortunately, we also have Stephen Harper, who seems bent on becoming a puppet of the American President.

I am absolutely dumbfounded by John McCain. In case you missed it, he started to sing the line "Bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb Iran" to the tune of the Beach Boys' Barbara Ann. Of course, that was last year. What I also recently learned is that he was singing a parody that had been written and performed by Vince Vance and the Valiants, who wrote the song in the midst of the Iran Hostage Crisis in 1979. Here are the lyrics:

Bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb Iran.
Bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb, bomb Iran!
Let's take a stand, bomb Iran.
Our country's got a feelin'.
Really hit the ceilin', bomb Iran.
Bomb bomb bomb, bomb Iran."
Gone to a mosque,
Gonna throw some rocks.
Tell the ayatollah,
Gonna put you in a box! and
bomb Iran. Bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb, bomb Iran!
Our country's got a feelin'.
Really hit the ceilin', bomb Iran.
Bomb bomb bomb, bomb Iran.

Now, I can sympathize with this parody in light of the Iran Hostage Crisis. Sometimes, we need to show our anger, rattle some sabers, and show some solidarity.

This is one of the videos of John McCain breaking into song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hAzBxFaio1I

Of course, I immediately recalled Ronald Reagan's live microphone accident (August 11, 1984) where he announced that bombing of Russia would commence in five minutes. This summed up Reagan's sheer intolerance, misunderstanding, and total hatred of a political system that differed from the American system. No, I am not a fan of authoritarian governments and clearly the Soviet Union was not a model to be emulated. As we all know, Reagan presided over the largest peacetime military buildup in American history, a buildup directed at the former Soviet Union and its allies, rather than address the possibility of arms control. MAD (Mutually Assured Destruction) was mad.

Reagan also signed a drug enforcement act as part if his War on Drugs. I think we can conclude that the war on drugs has failed and has resulted in glaring racial disparities in prison populations, mostly because of the different sentences handed down for crack cocaine, a lower class drug used by mainly African Americans and other impoverished ethnic groups, and powdered cocaine, an upper class drug used mainly by white folks including George W. Bush. Yes, he refuses to deny that he has used it. But, I am getting sidetracked.

I was fully in support of the American action in Afghanistan, but the USA virtually quit Afghanistan to hunt Saddam Hussein and walked away from Osama bin Laden. The effect has been very clear in Canada, the nation that is currently in charge of military operations in the Kandahar region. With the US military more interested in Iraq, many Canadians understandably have a hard time distinguishing between Canada's NATO role in Afghanistan and the US war on terror. Our troops effectively freed-up American forces to move to Iraq, and so we have become part of the problem.

John McCain is on record as suggesting that he would not be opposed to American troops staying in Iraq for 100 years! His argument is that Americans would not object to such a deployment either. What they will object to, he argues, are casualties of war. It's clear that McCain, the Viet Nam veteran, is a war hawk. What I find even scarier are those who argue that McCain isn't "conservative enough." I can only hope that the American public will not endorse a man who wants to take their nation into another pointless war that cannot be won. My choice, given the American political landscape, would be anybody but McCain...well, maybe that's going too far.

Addendum

As we all know, blogging about politics is no-win situation. You either attract comments from those who revile your political views and simply tell you that you have no idea what you are talking about (usually offering only dogma and unsupported opinions to counter what you have said) , or you receive congratulatory comments from those who accept everything you say with the hopes that a few of the undecided will be convinced to join your side of the ring.

This, of course, reminds me that Ethan Zuckerman advised us to resist homophily in social networks. I have read lots of right wing blogs and left wing blogs and I think that we are all guilty of promoting our opinions at the expense of impartiality. Such is the polarized landscape of the self-important amateur political blogger. My experience from previous political posts (especially this one) is that I had been surrounded by a few like-minded people (the homophilous, if you like) and our opponents (another homophilous group). In the end, I would describe the bloggers, the commenters, and our statements with such words as intransigent, intractable, recalcitrant, and belligerent.

Blogging has given me a new appreciation of the difficulties in writing without bias. So, the preceding is biased, but what can you expect from a Canadian who routinely votes for the NDP?

I Can no Longer Tell Who is Crazy

I fondly remember the days when one could amble past a person speaking to themselves on the street and be certain, beyond any reasonable doubt, that said person was suffering from some sort of metal illnesses. I don't intend any disrespect to such folk. In fact, after so many years in Toronto, I am accustomed to the diversity of the population, which includes people talking to themselves in public. (Or, perhaps they are talking to God or the spirits or aliens? I am not sure).

I also became accustomed to that bag lady in the Annex, now long gone, The Penny Man near Bloor and Madison. You must remember his refrain: "even a penny will do." Where did he go? I also recall a rather articulate homeless man who hung out just west of Bloor and Spadina. I think his name was Giles? But, I am straying from my point.

The first time I saw someone walking down the street with some sort of wireless bluetooth headset linked to a cell phone, I thought he was crazy. Here we had a well-dressed man with a business suit, briefcase, nice hair cut (not as nice as mine, but nice), and he was muttering to himself, something about the stock market. And then I noticed a little ear piece and it all made sense to me. The old headsets were more obvious. A microphone wrapped partly around the face, and there could be no mistaking that it was connected to a cell phone. I still can't get used to these people on their bluetooth headsets because they look CRAZY!

Yesterday, I was confounded by a person at Spadina and Harbord. At first, I thought the woman was speaking to her god and then I thought, no, she must have a headset under her hat and then I thought, no way, she sounds loopy and then there was a bit of coherence. The longer she talked, the more confused I became. Is she or isn't she, I mused. Finally, she uttered the name of George Bush as a potential saviour of Canada - and, yes, I wondered which George she meant - but by that time I had my answer.

As I cycled away, it occurred to me that if we handed out fake bluetooth headsets to all of the self-talkers out there, maybe society would be more accepting of them?

Marlene Dietrich, Microcephalic Ancestors, & Other Fascinating Tidbits

I was sitting at my desk, listening to the music in my head -- which was Marlene Dietrich's Favourite Poem, by Peter Murphy (see below) -- when I saw this news story: Marlene Dietrich "hated sex": daughter. Is is possible? At least I didn't misread the headline, as I did for this one on MSNBC a couple of days ago: instead of "Liberians head to polls", I thought it said "Librarians head to polls." Now, the second story is far more interesting, if you ask me.

However, my favourite recent news story has to be about those Hobbit-like bones that were found in Indonesia. Imagine, a skull the size of a grapefruit with no chin, and yet these freaky guys could make and use tools. They even hunted pygmy elephants! What a sight that would have been. Of course, there is some controversy over the interpretation of the fossils. Some would have you believe that these hominids were some sort of inbred pygmy-like mutation. I have to confess that when I heard the term "microcephalic hominid", I immediately thought of Dan Quayle and George W. Bush. I know, some people reading this might admire these chaps. I'm just sharing word-associations with you.

Marlene Dietrich's Favourite Poem

My mother loved it so she said
Sad eyed pearl and drop lips
Glancing pierce through writer man
Spoke hushed and frailing hips
Her old eyes skim in creasing lids
A tear falls as she describes
Approaching death with a yearning heart
With pride and no despise

Hot tears flow as she recounts
Her favourite worded token
Forgive me please for hurting so
Don't go away heartbroken no
Don't go away heartbroken no

Just wise owl tones no velvet lies
Crush her velvet call
Oh Marlene suffer all the fools
Who write you on the wall
And hold your tongue about your life
Or dead hands will change the plot
Will make your loving sound like snakes
Like you were never hot

Hot tears flow as she recounts
Her favourite worded token
Forgive me please for hurting so

My mother loved it so she said
Sad eyed pearl and drop lips yeah
Glancing pierce through writer man
Spoke hushed and frailing lips yeah
Old eyes skim in creasing lids
A tear falls as she describes
Approaching death with a yearning heart
With pride and no despise

Hot tears flow as she recounts
Her favourite worded token
Forgive me please for hurting so

Technorati Tags: Marlene Dietrich, Peter Murphy, Homo Florensiensis

George W. Bush and the Decline of America

Because I haven't written an overtly political post in a long time, I present a rather long and meandering post or rant: you decide.



I have to say that I am happy that I am not an American and that I am not paying taxes to the American Government. If I was, I'd be royally pissed that my taxes were being squandered on an illegal an unjustified war. The cost of the war escalates to perverse levels while 45 million Americans have no health insurance and while untold numbers of Americans live in third world conditions. Why not invest that money in education or health care or even alternate forms of energy?

Everybody knows that the quick 'victory' in Iraq was followed by what we can really only call a quagmire. This could count as one of the most grievous of tactical errors in American history. His war against terror and the personal war against Saddam Hussein has led to unspeakable collateral damage, car bombs, civilian deaths, dead invading troops, dead Iraqi troops, and the spread of terrorist cells into Iraq. Clearly, Bush is a liar and the real objective was not weapons of mass destruction, but oil.

Bush has entrenched his troops in the midst of the second largest oil reserve in the world. Even 75% of the readers of Time believed that the invasion of Iraq was for the purpose of securing an oil supply. This is a reserve that will be depleted, eventually. To me, it is no coincidence that the USA choose to act (in the name of its Christian god) in the middle east, where there happens to be oil, while conveniently ignoring catastrophic human rights abuses in other parts of the world, parts where there is little oil and little geo-political value to the USA. It is no coincidence that Bush used the term 'crusade' when he launched his terrorism counter-offensive.

Was the military action in Afghanistan more successful? The opium trade continues in Afghanistan despite the obscene war on drugs raging in the Americas. Regional war lords are again reclaiming power in the post-invasion Afghanistan. The most powerful army in the world let Osama bin Laden pass through its fingertips. Other than putting Osama on the run, I am not sure that much has been solved. Clearly, Bush was too eager to move on to target number 2.

I am annoyed that Bush's ultra conservative religious right views have meant that contraception information has, largely, been removed from US government websites. It is no secret that he opposed to women's right to choose. When will the people of the United States elect a woman? (and I don't mean some Margaret Thatcher clone.).

I am happy that I live in Canada, one of the countries that stayed out of the war, although it should not be forgotten that Canada increased its troop compliment in Afghanistan, allowing US forces to join the invasion of Iraq. Only the NDP commented on that, largely to deaf ears. The Conservative Party leader, the ridiculous Stephen Harper, was eager to join the Bush & Blair show and send our troops on an illegal campaign in the middle east.

Under Bush, the United States government has lost credibility. At least, in the past, I felt that there was some reason to believe that the USA was acting in a humanitarian way, even when if it pursued its own interests. Maybe I was blind. With Bush, it is all so black and white and I find that very scary.

Technorati Tags: George W. Bush, Iraq, politics

I believe that:

1) any store selling trampolines should include a free camcorder and the address of America's Funniest Home Videos.

2) Tim Horton's soup in a bowl fabricated from bread is an abomination.

3) anyone I have ever met with a MBA manages to convey that detail within the first ten minutes of meeting them.

4) that until we have proven that we can treat this planet with respect, we should not colonize the moon, Mars, or any other planet.

5) Stephen Harper and George Bush would make a wonderful couple.

6) we will never really come up with viable alternative fuels until we run out of oil.

7) conservative blogs are boring.

8) U2 is over-rated.

9) the Fox Network has no idea what it is doing.

10) pharmaceutical companies are evil.

Technorati Tags: rants, miscellaneous

Is Bush an Idiot?

The President explains his Social Security plan (Tampa, Florida, 4 Feb 2005)

Question: "I don't really understand. How is it the new [Social Security] plan is going to fix that problem?"

President Bush: "Because the -- all which is on the table begins to address the big cost drivers. For example, how benefits are calculated, for example, is on the table. Whether or not benefits rise based upon wage increases or price increases. There's a series of parts of the formula that are being considered. And when you couple that, those different cost drivers, affecting those -- changing those with personal accounts, the idea is to get what has been promised more likely to be -- or closer delivered to that has been promised. Does that make any sense to you? It's kind of muddled.

Look, there's a series of things that cause the -- like, for example, benefits are calculated based upon the increase of wages, as opposed to the increase of prices. Some have suggested that we calculate -- the benefits will rise based upon inflation, as opposed to wage increases.

There is a reform that would help solve the red if that were put into effect. In other words, how fast benefits grow, how fast the promised benefits grow, if those -- if that growth is affected, it will help on the red."

How did this man get elected twice?

Technorati tags: George Bush, idiots

A Political Detour, or, Hey Bush, Shove Your Missile Defense System

I just have to say something else about missile defense. Lots of experts -- including one from MIT and another from the Canadian Association of Physicists -- have said that the system just won't work. Apart from that, it is clear that deploying such a system will herald a new weapons race. Sure, these are defensive weapons, but weapons still. Isn't it obvious that the enemy (whomever that may be) will want to design weapons that can penetrate the new shield? I had thought that the weapons race was over. Apparently, it is starting again.

So, I don't care if Condoleeza Rice snubs Canada. I don't care if Paul Cellucci rants and raves that we are losing sovereignty. In my opinion, choosing our own international path demonstrates Canada's independence and sovereignty. The Bush administration is focusing on an obscene war on terror, developing new weapons, and panicking about same-sex marriage instead of paying attention to those things that are truly immoral, like genocide in parts of Africa. Bush needs to get his priorities in order.

Technorati tags: George Bush, missile defense, Condoleeza Rice, Paul Cellucci

So, Paul Cellucci thinks that Canada's proposed pot law will worsen relations with the United States. This is the same man who complained bitterly that Canada would not blindly follow George Bush in his illegal war in Iraq, which has since turned into a quagmire. Time has proven that our decision to stay out was the right one, even though half of America, for some bizarre reason, appear to agree with Bush.

We should remind Cellucci that he is a visitor here and that it is in very bad form to interfere with the internal affairs of the country to which one is an ambassador. Why haven't we sent him home? He is meddling. As I have said before, the war on drugs is ludicrous. What a waste of money. And, what's with this attention to pot. It's just a plant. Alcohol is far more refined and probably far more dangerous, and yet we have no problem with it. Pot is not a gateway drug. I have smoked pot and I am not a crackhead and I don't snort coke or inject heroin.

I think Cellucci is resigning soon, so hopefully we will get a more respectful ambassador.

Tags: Paul Cellucci, marijuana

I have to say that I am disappointed with the results of the US Presidential election. It's a good thing that I don't live in the US, or I'd have to pack up and move to Canada. I just cannot understand why Americans would re-elect Bush. The war in Iraq, if you ask me, has exacerbated the terrorist threat. It is clear that the disarray in that country has given more freedom and encouragement to those seeking to attack the USA. Not only that, Bush seems to have given up on Afghanistan, and the fear is that the same people are slowly coming back to power. Not only that, the US missed a glorious opportunity to gain some ground in the misguided war on drugs. Instead, Afghanistan remains a huge producer of opium.

One house on our street gave out a Bic pen and a small pad of Postit Notes for Hallowe'en. What's up with that?

Tags: elections, United States, Iraq

Texas and Sex Toys

This is hilarious. A Texan mother was recently charged with obscenity after selling a vibrator to her customers and explaining how to use it. It is legal in Texas to sell sex toys, as long as they are described as novelties. If instructions are provided, it is a criminal offense! The woman had faced up to a year in jail after she sold a vibrator at a private party to two undercover police officers posing as a married couple. Clearly, Texas police have nothing to do. The charges were eventually dropped because the country attorney felt that the case was a waste of resources.

Geroge W. Bush was Governor of Texas, so that explains a lot.

Tags: sex toys, Texas, George Bush

Ten Stupid Things

Off the top of my head, a list of stupid things:

cigarettes
electric can openers
electric pencil sharpeners
the top 40
opinion polls
George W. Bush
milk
awards shows
leaf blowers
Stephen Harper

Tags: stupid things