ZF's Perfect Frittata Recipe
The perfect frittata starts with a chicken. Oh, and if you don't have any idea what a frittata is, let me enlighten you. It's evidently of Italian origin and normally made with eggs and chopped vegetables or meat. It's probably best just to look up a few recipes, and then try this one as it is the best one.
So, as I was saying, the perfect frittata recipe commences with a chicken. So, first you buy a nice chicken and take it home. You will want a dead chicken, unless you are fond of killing things. Slather some olive oil and sea salt on the chicken and set the bird aside. (If you have a preferred chicken recipe, please follow it. Alert: don't put potatoes in with your chicken because they don't belong there. If you really want potatoes, roast them in a separate pan. And, for the love of God, don't put plain white potatoes in the frittata!).
Step two: cut up lots vegetables. And, by this I mean parsnips (remember to cut out the woody cores), carrots, sweet potatoes (yams), one or two onions, and squash. Alert: please use butternut squash. Most other types of squash are inferior.
Put the vegetables in a large roasting pan. Remember I said to cut up lots of vegetables? We need extra for part two of the recipe, so cut up lots and use a large roasting pan. I use a pan large enough for a turkey or a medium penguin. Throw in the vegetables along with sea salt and olive oil.
I like to give the vegetables a head start, so pop them into the oven for ten minutes or so at 375 and then throw the bird on top and cook until done. When I was a younger man, I hated recipes that said "cook until done." How the hell are you supposed to know what that means if you have never cooked before? I am so over that now, so I can say things like "cook until done" and laugh at those who have no idea what it means.
Now, eat your chicken and vegetables, but remember that we have to save some for the frittata that you will make the next day.
After dinner, go to bed. Well, I suppose that you will have to clean up the kitchen first, and put the leftovers in the fridge. Get out of bed the next day. Now, you can either have the frittata for breakfast, brunch, lunch, or dinner. Yes, it is that versatile. If you are having it for breakfast or brunch, start making it when you get out of bed. Otherwise, cook up some bacon and eggs for breakfast and do this later.
OK, so here is the recipe.
Chop up some bacon. Use half a package or a third of a package. This all depends on how many leftover vegetables you have and how big of a frittata you plan to make. Throw the pieces of bacon into a cast iron pan and cook until crisp. Once crisp, remove from pan and place the bacon on a paper towel.
Retain some or all of the bacon grease in the pan and add a sliced onion and garlic. When these have partially cooked, add a zucchini (cut in rounds) and a red or orange or yellow pepper (cut in slices). Alert: please do not use green peppers. This is an inferior pepper. And, remember a green bell pepper is simply an immature red pepper. It's like eating a green banana. You want a ripe red bell pepper or its luscious cousins, the yellow or the orange. Oh, and you could add broccoli, but I only do that if I have no zucchini. It's OK, but I think it's not as good as using a zucchini. You could also use asparagus.
Once the vegetables are nicely on their way, add the leftover vegetables from the chicken. Stir it up and let it all warm through. Beat some eggs in a bowl. The size of your pan and the amount of vegetables will determine the number of eggs. It could be 5, 6, or 7 or more. Don't include the shells. Add a bit of milk (soy milk, please) and some pepper. You won't need any salt.
Pour this over the contents of the pan. You may find that you will need an extra egg. If so, beat one up and pour it in. It's probably best to cover the pan with a lid to help it cook through the middle. When it looks cooked on top, just stick a knife in to make sure you don't have any gooey egginess inside.
Now, you will stick the pan under the broiler in your oven. I put in in for a short time, and then sprinkle the bacon over the top. Some of you people who are addicted to cheese may want to add the congealed breast milk of a hairy 2000 pound animal, or even parmesan. Feel free to ruin it, but I would prefer if you didn't. Don't burn it.
Cut it and serve it, perhaps with a salad on the side, if this is a lunch menu item.
And, there you have an easy recipe.
By the way, you can use the leftover chicken in any number of ways. I like to make chicken salad. Mmmmn, mayo...
Showing posts with label food and drink. Show all posts
Showing posts with label food and drink. Show all posts
Monday, February 08, 2010
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Trip Recap, part 1
It's funny how I spent three weeks in Europe and haven't really said much about it. So, I guess it's time. Speaking of time, I am aging. Years ago, I took the night flight to London and, when I arrived, I continued throughout the day even though I did not sleep on the plane. By the way, I am envious of those who can sleep on trains and planes. I can't do it. Anyway, years ago, I popped off the plane in London, and engaged with the city. I slept later, as usual. It was no big deal.
This time, I was whacked after the flight to Paris. I could barely keep my eyes open. Eventually, I decided to take a nap, and left instructions to be woken in 1.5 hours. I woke up in a daze and stumbled around the apartment as if I hadn't slept for days. I was confused, couldn't think straight, and hardly knew where I was. But then, I looked out the window and saw the Eiffel Tower and the traffic on Rue Montparnasse and quickly figured it out. So, the lesson to be learned is that I am getting old. Crap
The good news about the flight is that Air Canada came up with very good gluten-free food options that were also free of dairy! I was quite impressed. Ages ago, when Air Canada offered no such menu choices, I requested a fruit plate, thinking that such a menu item would contain fruit. Sure, there was a bit of fruit, but the thing came with a baguette, half a pound of cheese, and a piece of cake. In what universe is that considered to be a fruit plate? The poor fruits were seriously outnumbered by glutinous substances and congealed bovine slime! But, back to the story.
This trip to Europe was so many months ago, I can't even remember what we did on day one, other than transport our bags to the smallest apartment I have ever seen. Really, it was a room, a closet, in fact. It was so small, that to rent the place would be illegal according to the various laws of France. But, it was free, and I never argue with free.
It's funny how I spent three weeks in Europe and haven't really said much about it. So, I guess it's time. Speaking of time, I am aging. Years ago, I took the night flight to London and, when I arrived, I continued throughout the day even though I did not sleep on the plane. By the way, I am envious of those who can sleep on trains and planes. I can't do it. Anyway, years ago, I popped off the plane in London, and engaged with the city. I slept later, as usual. It was no big deal.
This time, I was whacked after the flight to Paris. I could barely keep my eyes open. Eventually, I decided to take a nap, and left instructions to be woken in 1.5 hours. I woke up in a daze and stumbled around the apartment as if I hadn't slept for days. I was confused, couldn't think straight, and hardly knew where I was. But then, I looked out the window and saw the Eiffel Tower and the traffic on Rue Montparnasse and quickly figured it out. So, the lesson to be learned is that I am getting old. Crap
The good news about the flight is that Air Canada came up with very good gluten-free food options that were also free of dairy! I was quite impressed. Ages ago, when Air Canada offered no such menu choices, I requested a fruit plate, thinking that such a menu item would contain fruit. Sure, there was a bit of fruit, but the thing came with a baguette, half a pound of cheese, and a piece of cake. In what universe is that considered to be a fruit plate? The poor fruits were seriously outnumbered by glutinous substances and congealed bovine slime! But, back to the story.
This trip to Europe was so many months ago, I can't even remember what we did on day one, other than transport our bags to the smallest apartment I have ever seen. Really, it was a room, a closet, in fact. It was so small, that to rent the place would be illegal according to the various laws of France. But, it was free, and I never argue with free.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Roasted Baby Hippo
During my undergrad, we joked that the "Hip of Beef" served in the cafeteria was really "Hip of Beast" or Hip o' Beast." I have learned that this curious label is ubiquitous. Students far and wide use an identical nomenclature. Hilarious. But, enough of that.
Imagine being served a plate upon which stood a tiny roasted hippopotamus! It measured no longer than seven inches from tip to tail with, perhaps, a two inch inseam. As for height, well, I would guess six inches at most. Nothing else was on the plate, just a tiny hippo that was able to stand, despite having been roasted. No veggies, no potatoes, no rice: just a tiny semi-aquatic even-toed ungulate.
Now, I am not one to panic at the prospect of undercooked food, but my hippo looked a bit rare. The hippo served to C, beside me, looked similarly undercooked, but C did not seem to mind. She prodded it with knife and fork, looking for convenient points of cleavage, and I believe she found one, though the caudal.
Rewards offered for dream-interpretation.
During my undergrad, we joked that the "Hip of Beef" served in the cafeteria was really "Hip of Beast" or Hip o' Beast." I have learned that this curious label is ubiquitous. Students far and wide use an identical nomenclature. Hilarious. But, enough of that.
Imagine being served a plate upon which stood a tiny roasted hippopotamus! It measured no longer than seven inches from tip to tail with, perhaps, a two inch inseam. As for height, well, I would guess six inches at most. Nothing else was on the plate, just a tiny hippo that was able to stand, despite having been roasted. No veggies, no potatoes, no rice: just a tiny semi-aquatic even-toed ungulate.
Now, I am not one to panic at the prospect of undercooked food, but my hippo looked a bit rare. The hippo served to C, beside me, looked similarly undercooked, but C did not seem to mind. She prodded it with knife and fork, looking for convenient points of cleavage, and I believe she found one, though the caudal.
Rewards offered for dream-interpretation.
Friday, November 07, 2008
Is your Cucumber Curved?
If so, or you have undersized melons, there's good news. The European Union is altering its fruit and vegetable policies, and will soon allow the sale of diverse fruits and vegetables, those that might deviate from the norm by being crooked, small, ugly, or asymmetrical. Look how fast the world is changing! The next American President is not on old white guy and now previously prejudiced produce will soon hit the shelves in Europe.
That's all for today. Happy Friday and have a nice weekend. I will be heading into the rural parts of Ontario, where people like the Conservative Party, Celine Dion, and bad grammar.
If so, or you have undersized melons, there's good news. The European Union is altering its fruit and vegetable policies, and will soon allow the sale of diverse fruits and vegetables, those that might deviate from the norm by being crooked, small, ugly, or asymmetrical. Look how fast the world is changing! The next American President is not on old white guy and now previously prejudiced produce will soon hit the shelves in Europe.
That's all for today. Happy Friday and have a nice weekend. I will be heading into the rural parts of Ontario, where people like the Conservative Party, Celine Dion, and bad grammar.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Back from Quebec with Damaged Lungs
(The bad news is that my laptop is in need of some repair, and this is hampering my web access. I hope to have this fixed soon).
While in Quebec, I almost made the decision to become a smoker. Why not? I asked myself. Everywhere I went, I was forced to inhale someone else's second-hand smoke: while walking down the street, while sitting on benches, while eating on patios, even in stores because people smoked in doorways and the smoke wafted in like a grey plague. Before I left for Quebec, I was becoming more and more irritated with smoke in Toronto, but Toronto has nothing on the cigarette madness in Quebec city. The whole place is cancerous.
My other observation is that the food was not as good as I had remembered from my previous visits. I can cook steak way better than any of the steaks I had there. Even the filet mignon, ordered from a gluten-free menu at a resto on rue du Petit-Champlain in Quartier Petit Champlain, sucked. I did have a couple of nice glasses of wine and a really great sangria, thankfully.
But, by far the most bizarre sight was a pod of dancing librarians. In my entire career in this female-dominated profession, I had never seen librarians eager to hit the dance floor. But, at this World Congress, filled with delegates from Africa, Iran, Iraq, China, Russia, all parts of Europe, Oceania, and dozens of other nations, this was happening. I have photos to prove it, and if my laptop ever recovers, I might even share some with you. Whether or not I tripped the light fantastic (or fandango) will forever remain a secret.
(The bad news is that my laptop is in need of some repair, and this is hampering my web access. I hope to have this fixed soon).
While in Quebec, I almost made the decision to become a smoker. Why not? I asked myself. Everywhere I went, I was forced to inhale someone else's second-hand smoke: while walking down the street, while sitting on benches, while eating on patios, even in stores because people smoked in doorways and the smoke wafted in like a grey plague. Before I left for Quebec, I was becoming more and more irritated with smoke in Toronto, but Toronto has nothing on the cigarette madness in Quebec city. The whole place is cancerous.
My other observation is that the food was not as good as I had remembered from my previous visits. I can cook steak way better than any of the steaks I had there. Even the filet mignon, ordered from a gluten-free menu at a resto on rue du Petit-Champlain in Quartier Petit Champlain, sucked. I did have a couple of nice glasses of wine and a really great sangria, thankfully.
But, by far the most bizarre sight was a pod of dancing librarians. In my entire career in this female-dominated profession, I had never seen librarians eager to hit the dance floor. But, at this World Congress, filled with delegates from Africa, Iran, Iraq, China, Russia, all parts of Europe, Oceania, and dozens of other nations, this was happening. I have photos to prove it, and if my laptop ever recovers, I might even share some with you. Whether or not I tripped the light fantastic (or fandango) will forever remain a secret.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Je suis à Québec
Hey, there is free wireless here, even during the conference sessions. This could be very dangerous.
The train trip was fine, and went fast, partly because I was travelling with three colleagues, one of whom brought about three pounds of red radishes as a snack. I am not sure about you, but radishes are way down my list of good train snacks. I won't bore you with a list of the pounds of food I carted along with me, but I remember looking at those radishes as I bit into a nice hunk of dark chocolate and felt sorry for her husband, who vocally pondered the necessity of taking red radishes on a train. Poor man.
Hey, there is free wireless here, even during the conference sessions. This could be very dangerous.
The train trip was fine, and went fast, partly because I was travelling with three colleagues, one of whom brought about three pounds of red radishes as a snack. I am not sure about you, but radishes are way down my list of good train snacks. I won't bore you with a list of the pounds of food I carted along with me, but I remember looking at those radishes as I bit into a nice hunk of dark chocolate and felt sorry for her husband, who vocally pondered the necessity of taking red radishes on a train. Poor man.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Excerpts from my Journal (with minor improvements in syntax)
Houston, April 27, 2002
"The worst thing about this hotel and conference centre are the bathrooms. Really, it's the urinals. They are like minor toilets affixed to the wall, but they jut out about two feet. So, one must stand well back. This reduces one's privacy. Also, since they are full of water, everyone can hear how long you are urinating and how forcefully. It's really awful."
[snip]
"Walking from the Sheraton to the Galleria is a bit like walking out of an airport: it's not designed for that purpose. There are no sidewalks and the cars scream by on eight lane roads. Above, there is a raised expressway. I passed parking lot after parking lot. No one walks in Houston. [snip] After some tricky negotiations with streets and cars and walk signals that last - and I am serious here - about 5 seconds, I made it to the Galleria."
[snip]
"During the time between a session and the reception, I thought I would look around for some stores outside the Galleria. Aside from the oppressive heat and the fact that there was no easy way for pedestrians to walk away from the mall (in other words, there were no sidewalks), I discovered that there were no stores. This area is utter desolation. [snip] It must have been so odd to see pedestrians, that two taxi drivers asked me if I needed a ride while I was still in the parking lot."
[snip]
"I went into a pub-type place and asked the hostess about the menu. As I started to explain gluten, she suggested that I speak to the more experienced host. Somehow, he turned around what I said and thought that I must have wheat. He commented that I was "very specialized", and then proceeded to recommend a Monte Cristo sandwich that is deep fried in batter. I guess he figured that that ought to be enough wheat for anybody."
Houston, April 28, 2002
"The good news is that the pillow in the hotel room isn't too bad. The bad news is that the clock radio only has one volume level: ear-splitting. I had to smother it with a pillow so that the alarm wouldn't send me through the roof the next morning. The TV has two volume levels: loud and louder. The minimum volume almost blasted me out of the room. Are Texans hard of hearing?"
"Some other observations about Texans. They aren't as obese as I had expected (I had read an article in the Houston Free Press about obesity in Houstonians) and some do wear cowboy hats and boots. The first "native" I saw when I arrived at the airport was wearing a big black hat and cowboy boots. It was a sight. There was also a guy in fatigues with an automatic weapon at the metal detector."
[snip]
"Yesterday, the refreshments were Coke and cookies. I know that not everyone is a health food freak, but pop and cookies is really hitting the bottom of the barrel."
[snip]
"The longer I am here, the more I realize that this area reminds me of the Toronto airport but without the airport. The hotels, the construction, the lack of sidewalks, the lack of trees, the complete desolation is suited to an airport. I wonder why they just don't build an airport and compete the picture."
Houston, April 27, 2002
"The worst thing about this hotel and conference centre are the bathrooms. Really, it's the urinals. They are like minor toilets affixed to the wall, but they jut out about two feet. So, one must stand well back. This reduces one's privacy. Also, since they are full of water, everyone can hear how long you are urinating and how forcefully. It's really awful."
[snip]
"Walking from the Sheraton to the Galleria is a bit like walking out of an airport: it's not designed for that purpose. There are no sidewalks and the cars scream by on eight lane roads. Above, there is a raised expressway. I passed parking lot after parking lot. No one walks in Houston. [snip] After some tricky negotiations with streets and cars and walk signals that last - and I am serious here - about 5 seconds, I made it to the Galleria."
[snip]
"During the time between a session and the reception, I thought I would look around for some stores outside the Galleria. Aside from the oppressive heat and the fact that there was no easy way for pedestrians to walk away from the mall (in other words, there were no sidewalks), I discovered that there were no stores. This area is utter desolation. [snip] It must have been so odd to see pedestrians, that two taxi drivers asked me if I needed a ride while I was still in the parking lot."
[snip]
"I went into a pub-type place and asked the hostess about the menu. As I started to explain gluten, she suggested that I speak to the more experienced host. Somehow, he turned around what I said and thought that I must have wheat. He commented that I was "very specialized", and then proceeded to recommend a Monte Cristo sandwich that is deep fried in batter. I guess he figured that that ought to be enough wheat for anybody."
Houston, April 28, 2002
"The good news is that the pillow in the hotel room isn't too bad. The bad news is that the clock radio only has one volume level: ear-splitting. I had to smother it with a pillow so that the alarm wouldn't send me through the roof the next morning. The TV has two volume levels: loud and louder. The minimum volume almost blasted me out of the room. Are Texans hard of hearing?"
"Some other observations about Texans. They aren't as obese as I had expected (I had read an article in the Houston Free Press about obesity in Houstonians) and some do wear cowboy hats and boots. The first "native" I saw when I arrived at the airport was wearing a big black hat and cowboy boots. It was a sight. There was also a guy in fatigues with an automatic weapon at the metal detector."
[snip]
"Yesterday, the refreshments were Coke and cookies. I know that not everyone is a health food freak, but pop and cookies is really hitting the bottom of the barrel."
[snip]
"The longer I am here, the more I realize that this area reminds me of the Toronto airport but without the airport. The hotels, the construction, the lack of sidewalks, the lack of trees, the complete desolation is suited to an airport. I wonder why they just don't build an airport and compete the picture."
Sunday, April 13, 2008
New Job and Caffeine
As I mentioned previously, I have a new job (same place, new responsibilities). The only problem is that I am retaining my old job until someone can take over my old job, and I have no idea when that will be. So, I am doing two jobs and I feel a bit schizophrenic.
So, today I had the gluten-free and vegan chocolate cake at Tinto on Roncesvalles Ave. This is amazing cake. It tastes the like the real deal. The trouble is that the server gave me coffee with caffeine, and I feel like I have been given uppers. Since I avoid caffeine, it has a serious effect on me. Right now, I feel like I could write a novel in an hour or so. The caffeine also explains why I am posting on a weekend. It also means that I will not get much sleep tonight, and I will be sleepy tomorrow. I hate it when that happens.
As I mentioned previously, I have a new job (same place, new responsibilities). The only problem is that I am retaining my old job until someone can take over my old job, and I have no idea when that will be. So, I am doing two jobs and I feel a bit schizophrenic.
So, today I had the gluten-free and vegan chocolate cake at Tinto on Roncesvalles Ave. This is amazing cake. It tastes the like the real deal. The trouble is that the server gave me coffee with caffeine, and I feel like I have been given uppers. Since I avoid caffeine, it has a serious effect on me. Right now, I feel like I could write a novel in an hour or so. The caffeine also explains why I am posting on a weekend. It also means that I will not get much sleep tonight, and I will be sleepy tomorrow. I hate it when that happens.
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
Down with 8 Glass of Water per Day
Finally, people are beginning to recognize that it is dumb to drink 8 glasses of water per day, something that I could never do anyway. Two kidney experts argue that such a practice has no benefits and may, in fact, be harmful to some people. Boy, this sounds like a news report. The kidney dudes conclude that drinking all of this water:
does not suppress appetite
does not flush toxins from your body
does not reduce headaches
does not improve your skin
(the research article was published in the American Journal of Physiology)
In 1945, the U.S. Food and Nutrition Board advised people to imbibe 8 glasses of fluids every day. This recommendation has always puzzled me because our bodies tell us when to drink. We get thirsty and we drink. Trying to force all of that water down one's throat is unpleasant and stupid. Besides, we get fluids from the things we eat, fruit, vegetables, etc.
We don't need to port around bottles of water, or worse, those Nalgene-type polycarbonate bottles that contain Bisphenol-A (BPA), an endocrine disruptor.
So, there's work to be done.
Finally, people are beginning to recognize that it is dumb to drink 8 glasses of water per day, something that I could never do anyway. Two kidney experts argue that such a practice has no benefits and may, in fact, be harmful to some people. Boy, this sounds like a news report. The kidney dudes conclude that drinking all of this water:
does not suppress appetite
does not flush toxins from your body
does not reduce headaches
does not improve your skin
(the research article was published in the American Journal of Physiology)
In 1945, the U.S. Food and Nutrition Board advised people to imbibe 8 glasses of fluids every day. This recommendation has always puzzled me because our bodies tell us when to drink. We get thirsty and we drink. Trying to force all of that water down one's throat is unpleasant and stupid. Besides, we get fluids from the things we eat, fruit, vegetables, etc.
We don't need to port around bottles of water, or worse, those Nalgene-type polycarbonate bottles that contain Bisphenol-A (BPA), an endocrine disruptor.
* * * * *
Oh, and in other news, I have a new job. Same place - different job.So, there's work to be done.
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Killer Coke
Killercoke.org is a fascinating site. Just make sure you don't type killercoke.com, or you'll end up in a corporate Coca Cola site. There is a quick re-direct to cokefacts.org that most web surfers would not even notice. This stinks, if you ask me, because I am sure that Coca-Cola would never permit anyone to redirect traffic from a URL that is almost identical to coca-cola.com to any other web site.
I hope everyone turned their lights out for the hour between 8:00 and 9:00 PM.
Killercoke.org is a fascinating site. Just make sure you don't type killercoke.com, or you'll end up in a corporate Coca Cola site. There is a quick re-direct to cokefacts.org that most web surfers would not even notice. This stinks, if you ask me, because I am sure that Coca-Cola would never permit anyone to redirect traffic from a URL that is almost identical to coca-cola.com to any other web site.
I hope everyone turned their lights out for the hour between 8:00 and 9:00 PM.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Clone this! and a Giant Rodent
Would you eat cloned meat or drink milk from a cloned animal?
I would not, but the FDA thinks it's OK. They see absolutely no difference between conventionally- reproduced animals and those made from ear cells. What's worse is that the FDA will not require that cloned products be labelled, just like genetically-modified foods. I think this is wrong. All of this means that if you want to avoid Frankenfoods, you have to stick with organic products. I am having fond memories of when food was food.
If that is depressing to you, then this should make you smile. The fossilized skull of a one ton rodent has been found in Uruguay. It was as large as a bull. It has been named Josephoartigasia monesi, or freakin' big rodent!
Would you eat cloned meat or drink milk from a cloned animal?
I would not, but the FDA thinks it's OK. They see absolutely no difference between conventionally- reproduced animals and those made from ear cells. What's worse is that the FDA will not require that cloned products be labelled, just like genetically-modified foods. I think this is wrong. All of this means that if you want to avoid Frankenfoods, you have to stick with organic products. I am having fond memories of when food was food.
If that is depressing to you, then this should make you smile. The fossilized skull of a one ton rodent has been found in Uruguay. It was as large as a bull. It has been named Josephoartigasia monesi, or freakin' big rodent!
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Food Meme
From Running42K who got it from Andrew who go it from Electronic Cerebrectomy who got it from Byzantium's Shores.
This'll be weird, since I can't eat gluten and I don't eat dairy products.
1. How do you like your eggs?
Over easy or scrambled with bacon. It depends on many things, like the weather, the time of year, and what I am wearing.
2. How do you take your coffee/tea?
Coffee: decaf, black or with a splash of soy milk. I drink Typhoo decaf tea with some soy milk.
3. Favorite breakfast food?
Gluten-free waffles or pancakes with bacon. But, mostly I eat rice cakes with various toppings, like jam, honey, nut butters (not peanut), etc.
4. Peanut butter - smooth or crunchy?
I don't eat it, but when I did, it had to be crunchy. I prefer cashew or almond butter.
5. What kind of dressing on your salad?
Balsamic vinaigrette.
6. Coke or Pepsi?
Neither. In fact, no pop at all, except for maybe one glass of ginger ale every year or two. Well, I might have a rum and coke once a year, or so.
7. You’re feeling lazy, what do you make?
Rice pasta with sauce from a jar.
8. You’re feeling really lazy. What kind of pizza do you order?
Sadly, I cannot eat pizza. When I did, it was always bacon & pineapple. So, the equivalent would be to order in Thai or Indian food, but I can no longer order from the usual Thai food place, because I found out that it is not gluten-free after years of them telling me it was.
9. You feel like cooking. What do you make?
Recently, I've been hopping on the web to try new recipes, rather than reverting to the old standards. I recently made some very hot golden chicken curry and some strange chicken dish with tamari (gluten-free) and almonds.
10. Do any foods bring back good memories?
Roast chicken (or roast beef or roast pork).
11. Do any foods bring back bad memories?
I think I can no longer eat any of the foods that would have brought back the bad memories. But, I would say anything cooked by my mother or the pizza from my home town.
12. Do any foods remind you of someone?
Yes.
13. Is there a food you refuse to eat?
I refuse to eat dairy products (milk, cheese, cream, etc). I am forced to avoid gluten as I have Celiac Disease, which I have mentioned before on this blog. Beyond that, I would refuse internal organs (liver, kidneys, tripe, brains, etc.). I am not a fan of lobster. To me, it just tastes like rubber.
14. What was your favorite food as a child?
Ice cream, creamed corn, cereal - but not at the same time.
15. Is there a food that you hated as a child but now like?
Sweet potatoes.
16. Is there a food that you liked as a child but now hate?
Well, milk. It is a vile and disgusting substance.
17. Favorite fruit and vegetable:
Can't choose just one...
Fruit: mangos, bananas, raspberries. Vegetables: sweet potatoes, butternut squash.
18. Favorite junk food:
Lays Lightly Salted!
19. Favorite between meal snack:
Fruit.
20. Do you have any weird food habits?
I like bananas on rice cakes with almond or cashew butter.
21. You’re on a diet. What food(s) do you fill up on?
I have never been on a diet. I have pretty much weighed the same my entire adult life. I have never felt the need to fill up on anything, and I wouldn't even know what is a good thing to fill up on. I suppose I would say a banana.
22. You’re off your diet. Now what would you like?
Sorbet or dark chocolate.
23. How spicy do you order Indian/Thai?
Medium to hot.
24. Can I get you a drink?
Red wine please. Oh, you mean non-alcoholic? Well, water or apple cider.
25. Red wine or white?
See #24, but I like white too.
26. Favorite dessert?
Lemon sorbet from this cool place in T-Dot. Also, I like Haagen Daz Mango sorbet.
From Running42K who got it from Andrew who go it from Electronic Cerebrectomy who got it from Byzantium's Shores.
This'll be weird, since I can't eat gluten and I don't eat dairy products.
1. How do you like your eggs?
Over easy or scrambled with bacon. It depends on many things, like the weather, the time of year, and what I am wearing.
2. How do you take your coffee/tea?
Coffee: decaf, black or with a splash of soy milk. I drink Typhoo decaf tea with some soy milk.
3. Favorite breakfast food?
Gluten-free waffles or pancakes with bacon. But, mostly I eat rice cakes with various toppings, like jam, honey, nut butters (not peanut), etc.
4. Peanut butter - smooth or crunchy?
I don't eat it, but when I did, it had to be crunchy. I prefer cashew or almond butter.
5. What kind of dressing on your salad?
Balsamic vinaigrette.
6. Coke or Pepsi?
Neither. In fact, no pop at all, except for maybe one glass of ginger ale every year or two. Well, I might have a rum and coke once a year, or so.
7. You’re feeling lazy, what do you make?
Rice pasta with sauce from a jar.
8. You’re feeling really lazy. What kind of pizza do you order?
Sadly, I cannot eat pizza. When I did, it was always bacon & pineapple. So, the equivalent would be to order in Thai or Indian food, but I can no longer order from the usual Thai food place, because I found out that it is not gluten-free after years of them telling me it was.
9. You feel like cooking. What do you make?
Recently, I've been hopping on the web to try new recipes, rather than reverting to the old standards. I recently made some very hot golden chicken curry and some strange chicken dish with tamari (gluten-free) and almonds.
10. Do any foods bring back good memories?
Roast chicken (or roast beef or roast pork).
11. Do any foods bring back bad memories?
I think I can no longer eat any of the foods that would have brought back the bad memories. But, I would say anything cooked by my mother or the pizza from my home town.
12. Do any foods remind you of someone?
Yes.
13. Is there a food you refuse to eat?
I refuse to eat dairy products (milk, cheese, cream, etc). I am forced to avoid gluten as I have Celiac Disease, which I have mentioned before on this blog. Beyond that, I would refuse internal organs (liver, kidneys, tripe, brains, etc.). I am not a fan of lobster. To me, it just tastes like rubber.
14. What was your favorite food as a child?
Ice cream, creamed corn, cereal - but not at the same time.
15. Is there a food that you hated as a child but now like?
Sweet potatoes.
16. Is there a food that you liked as a child but now hate?
Well, milk. It is a vile and disgusting substance.
17. Favorite fruit and vegetable:
Can't choose just one...
Fruit: mangos, bananas, raspberries. Vegetables: sweet potatoes, butternut squash.
18. Favorite junk food:
Lays Lightly Salted!
19. Favorite between meal snack:
Fruit.
20. Do you have any weird food habits?
I like bananas on rice cakes with almond or cashew butter.
21. You’re on a diet. What food(s) do you fill up on?
I have never been on a diet. I have pretty much weighed the same my entire adult life. I have never felt the need to fill up on anything, and I wouldn't even know what is a good thing to fill up on. I suppose I would say a banana.
22. You’re off your diet. Now what would you like?
Sorbet or dark chocolate.
23. How spicy do you order Indian/Thai?
Medium to hot.
24. Can I get you a drink?
Red wine please. Oh, you mean non-alcoholic? Well, water or apple cider.
25. Red wine or white?
See #24, but I like white too.
26. Favorite dessert?
Lemon sorbet from this cool place in T-Dot. Also, I like Haagen Daz Mango sorbet.
Friday, March 16, 2007
Coke and Pork and Worms
I need your help. Have you seen one of the several videos floating around the web that show people pouring Coca-Cola onto raw pork? After a few minutes, the worms crawl out of the meat. Now, my first thought was: Who the hell would drink Coke if it is noxious enough to force innocent worms from the comfort of a slab of pork? Well, I'll allow that Coke mixed with rum is OK.
The now infamous video seems to have been removed from YouTube, but any web search will find videos that support or refute the allegations along with a few humorous attempts to show all manner of biological entities emerging from pork, like plastic rabbits. Some argue that Coke simply makes a nice marinade. Others argue that pork is infested with worms (trichinae) and will cause trichinosis. I have heard that there has not been a case of this in Canada for years. Who knows what is happening in the USA.
I'd try this myself, but I don't drink Coke and I do not want to support the corporation, despite occasionally purchasing Dasani, primarily because it is usually stocked here. Did you know that Dasani isn't even spring water? It's tap water that has been remineralized. Have a look at the ingredients. Yeah, that's right, it's water with ingredients.
So, if you are willing, go out any purchase some raw pork, throw it into a dish, and pour some Coke on it. Let me know how it turns out. I'll trust you.
Technorati Tags: pork, coca-cola, trichinosis
I need your help. Have you seen one of the several videos floating around the web that show people pouring Coca-Cola onto raw pork? After a few minutes, the worms crawl out of the meat. Now, my first thought was: Who the hell would drink Coke if it is noxious enough to force innocent worms from the comfort of a slab of pork? Well, I'll allow that Coke mixed with rum is OK.
The now infamous video seems to have been removed from YouTube, but any web search will find videos that support or refute the allegations along with a few humorous attempts to show all manner of biological entities emerging from pork, like plastic rabbits. Some argue that Coke simply makes a nice marinade. Others argue that pork is infested with worms (trichinae) and will cause trichinosis. I have heard that there has not been a case of this in Canada for years. Who knows what is happening in the USA.
I'd try this myself, but I don't drink Coke and I do not want to support the corporation, despite occasionally purchasing Dasani, primarily because it is usually stocked here. Did you know that Dasani isn't even spring water? It's tap water that has been remineralized. Have a look at the ingredients. Yeah, that's right, it's water with ingredients.
So, if you are willing, go out any purchase some raw pork, throw it into a dish, and pour some Coke on it. Let me know how it turns out. I'll trust you.
Technorati Tags: pork, coca-cola, trichinosis
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
The Conference Review
I wish I had taken a photo of the carpeting at the Metro Toronto Convention Centre. It is the ugliest, most disgusting, and nauseating carpet I have ever seen. I have to think it was some sort of sick joke. There are two varieties: the first in the open areas, although ugly, retains some dignity in it's restrained geometry. In the meeting rooms, all hell breaks loose. I still haven't determined if the design is supposed to resemble a plant - perhaps a pea pod - or a pupal casing.
Late Friday, after the AGM for a division I am a member of (or, of which I am a member), I headed to the reception, a few minutes late. I asked a colleague when the food was coming, as all I could see were lengths of empty tables, laid out with white hotel table cloths. "Oh", he said, "the food is gone already." In the twenty minutes that had expired, while I lingered over the last half a glass of wine and chatted with friends and colleagues, hundreds of librarians had devoured all of the food. In the distance, I saw a man, dressed in white wielding a knife, presiding over a hunk of beef the size of a Smart car. I thought it might have been a mirage.
I gravitated to him, found a plate, and he hacked off a piece of bloody beef. I declined the bread roll, as I cannot eat wheat, and looked for cutlery. Finding only a fork, I attempted to cut the flesh with the blunt side of the implement. Failing in that task, I picked up the bloody meat with my hands and ripped at it with my teeth. I was thankful for the dim light, for I think I looked like a lion gnawing on the belly of some unfortunate ungulate. I wiped away the juices flowing down my chin, took a sip of wine, and reflected on the fact that I used to be a vegetarian. How things change.
Listening to: Beck - The Information.
Technorati Tags: conferences, carpet, food
I wish I had taken a photo of the carpeting at the Metro Toronto Convention Centre. It is the ugliest, most disgusting, and nauseating carpet I have ever seen. I have to think it was some sort of sick joke. There are two varieties: the first in the open areas, although ugly, retains some dignity in it's restrained geometry. In the meeting rooms, all hell breaks loose. I still haven't determined if the design is supposed to resemble a plant - perhaps a pea pod - or a pupal casing.
Late Friday, after the AGM for a division I am a member of (or, of which I am a member), I headed to the reception, a few minutes late. I asked a colleague when the food was coming, as all I could see were lengths of empty tables, laid out with white hotel table cloths. "Oh", he said, "the food is gone already." In the twenty minutes that had expired, while I lingered over the last half a glass of wine and chatted with friends and colleagues, hundreds of librarians had devoured all of the food. In the distance, I saw a man, dressed in white wielding a knife, presiding over a hunk of beef the size of a Smart car. I thought it might have been a mirage.
I gravitated to him, found a plate, and he hacked off a piece of bloody beef. I declined the bread roll, as I cannot eat wheat, and looked for cutlery. Finding only a fork, I attempted to cut the flesh with the blunt side of the implement. Failing in that task, I picked up the bloody meat with my hands and ripped at it with my teeth. I was thankful for the dim light, for I think I looked like a lion gnawing on the belly of some unfortunate ungulate. I wiped away the juices flowing down my chin, took a sip of wine, and reflected on the fact that I used to be a vegetarian. How things change.
Listening to: Beck - The Information.
Technorati Tags: conferences, carpet, food
Friday, March 24, 2006
Soup Nazi is HereAs I previously mentioned on this blog, the Soup Nazi is here. I took this rather bad picture of the kiosk in the Eaton Centre. They were distributing free samples, but I did not take one, since I would have had to ask tons of questions about the ingredients.
The Spam keeps coming. I have had about 250 spam comments on this blog recently. Unfortunately, this template does not support Blogger's keyword verification, so I really might have to change templates to those boring Blogger ones. In other spam news, I got this bizarre email:
From: jennifer aniston
To: zydecofish@gmail.com
Date: Mar 21, 2006 8:57 PM
Subject: hi honey
Just wanted to make sure you got those anal beads I sent you, those fuckin' couriers can be so nosey.
Love,
J.
Note: My real name is not even Vinnie. I guess this is some sort of Vince Vaughn joke.
Technorati Tags: Soup Nazi, Soup Man, Blogger, spam
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Restaurant Review (I know it might seem weird not to include the name of the restaurant, but my dining experience was very personal, and probably others would have a far different and much better meal).
The wooden soup spoons used at ____ are a triumph of form and function and may well be the perfect utensil. It should have been a pleasure to dine with such a lightweight and delicate wooden instrument, even though I strongly believe that soup, on its own, is not a meal, except in Chinatown where one often discovers half a duck—bones and all—swimming in enormous bowls. Eating such a soup with a pair of chopsticks and a ceramic spoon is no small victory, and well worth it, as it is very filling. My soup at ____ failed to quench my appetite on any level, although the challenge of eating the noodle parts with chopsticks was no less real.
Mr. J's and Mr S’s ____ occupies a large, open, and beautiful space on a trendy section of ____ Street East close to _____. The exposed brick walls of this 19th century building project an inviting warmth over a floor filled with square tables, perfectly complimented by low cubical lighting fixtures. Sitting in ____ should be a delightful experience, but the backless stools inflicted on the diners are cruel and inhumane and probably contravene even the Geneva Convention. I would have preferred to stand or sit on the floor, without shoes, in the traditional Japanese style.
On the other hand, the staff was very attentive, but that may have had something to do with the fact that the words “Toronto Star” were dropped early. Or, it could have been the knowledge that we were all students in a reviewing class. In any event, only once before has a chef made a trip to my table to inquire about my meal. In St. Lucia, the chef, a sous-chefs, and a waiter crowded around our table, each in turn prodding my fish fillet with various sharp objects in an attempt to determine if the fish was, as I claimed, breaded, and, therefore, not what I had ordered. At ____, when Chef S. made the trek to my table, all I could manage was that it was okay. It was okay, not spectacular, not delicious, far from perfect, but, mercifully, gluten-free.
Prior to the meal, I grew hungrier and hungrier watching others devour appetizers while taking copious notes—careful not to confuse the Tskune ($5.00) with the Negima Yakitori ($5.75) or the delicious-looking Duck Gyoza ($6.50) with the Pork Gyoza ($4.75) or the Shrimp Dumplings ($6.00). I looked forward to the special meal awaiting me. The waiter had already reviewed the menu with me, suggesting the ____ Beef, grilled top sirloin ($13.75), or the Cha Han ($9.25), both quite delicious-sounding. Instead of these meaty dishes, I learned that the chef had taken a keen interest in feeding me a special item, which turned out to be a small bowl of unnamed soup at an unknown price. I decided that it is probably a mistake to serve a dish with no name, for it affords the diner (or the reviewer) an opportunity to assign one. I might apply the name Pond Soba to the dish served to me.
The tepid soup, bland beyond all imagination, achieved only partial salvation by means of a few niblets of corn and three or four snow peas, all crunchy and quite delightful. In contrast to the soup, these bits of vegetables were an explosion of flavour. Soba noodles, gluten-free, but decidedly boring, lurked at the bottom of a concoction of shiitake mushrooms (the plural form of the word mushroom being an extreme exaggeration) and a cloudy stock, tasting what I imagine warmed up pond water would taste like. I wouldn’t have been too surprised to discover a fish hiding in the tangle of noodles. I was still hungry at the end of the meal, and ran out to get something else to eat, something delicious and extremely succulent.
I keep a list of restaurants that can provide a gluten-free meal. I may add ____ to the list, not because the food was great, but simply because they were able to produce a meal that matched my dietary restrictions. But, if I ever go back, it will only be to sneak away one of those awesome spoons.
Technorati Tags: restaurant reviewTuesday, October 25, 2005
Confession #3I cannot eat a banana in public, at least not in the normal way. After a brief web search, I would conclude that I am not the only one. One person said that she can't "even eat a banana in public without first breaking it into small pieces..." which is exactly what I do. A knife and fork would also work, in a Seinfeldian way. I am not sure why I have this issue. Maybe it's my fear of looking like a monkey. After all, I have very long arms. Maybe it's the phallic nature of this tropical fruit.
I read a post by someone else who asked: "How do you eat a banana in public without it looking obscene?" I'd like to know that too. I once read that it's OK for men to eat bananas in public (something I do not believe), but it made me wonder why such a double standard would exist.
Which leads me to consider that I may have a psychological problem. After all, there are others who have no problems with public banana eating. I am reminded, of course, of Leonard Cohen.
It's good to be back. I was occupied on the weekend, and then I had to finish a long report, but that is over, thank god.
Technorati Tags: confessions, bananas, Leonard Cohen
Monday, October 10, 2005
Happy (Canadian) Thanksgiving
Just a quick note about turkey. In my family, we were always asked if we would like "dark or dry meat." I come from a long tradition of bad turkey cookers. Chicken is better anyway.
Technorati Tags: Thanksgiving, turkey
Just a quick note about turkey. In my family, we were always asked if we would like "dark or dry meat." I come from a long tradition of bad turkey cookers. Chicken is better anyway.
Technorati Tags: Thanksgiving, turkey
Thursday, October 06, 2005
I Just Lost my Appetite
There is a restaurant in Taiwan called Marton -- a word based on the Chinese word for toilet -- that serves food in miniature toilets, some of which have a flush action. What's worse is that the food is made to look like what one usually finds in toilets. You'll never get me to eat chocolate ice cream shaped like fecal matter from a miniature toilet. Never.
But, just when I was digesting that story, I heard about a woman in Liverpool who has been standing on a street corner handing out 5 pound notes. That, to me, is a waste of money. I feel that if you are going to give away money, you need to give larger amounts to fewer people. Instead of giving 100 people 5 pound notes, give 1 person 500 pounds. In fact. I think I'll send her my address.
I'm away tomorrow too. My blogging is all out-of-kilter at the moment.
Technorati Tags: restaurants, food, philanthropy
There is a restaurant in Taiwan called Marton -- a word based on the Chinese word for toilet -- that serves food in miniature toilets, some of which have a flush action. What's worse is that the food is made to look like what one usually finds in toilets. You'll never get me to eat chocolate ice cream shaped like fecal matter from a miniature toilet. Never.
But, just when I was digesting that story, I heard about a woman in Liverpool who has been standing on a street corner handing out 5 pound notes. That, to me, is a waste of money. I feel that if you are going to give away money, you need to give larger amounts to fewer people. Instead of giving 100 people 5 pound notes, give 1 person 500 pounds. In fact. I think I'll send her my address.
I'm away tomorrow too. My blogging is all out-of-kilter at the moment.
Technorati Tags: restaurants, food, philanthropy
Monday, September 12, 2005
Diet Coke is an AtrocityWith apologies to those of you who actually like this shi...stuff.
The first time I tasted Diet Coke, I really believed that I was being poisoned, or at least that this substance was about to induce vomiting. First, there was a gag reflex. And then I started clawing at my throat like someone being suffocated. I ran to find an appropriate place to spit it out. It tasted so bad, I asked the person I was with to taste it for me.
The conversation went something like:
me: "Taste this."
them: "Why."
me: "I want to make sure I am not being poisoned."
them: [sips; hands it back]: "Tastes just fine."
me: "You can't be serious. This is what I imagine carbonated embalming fluid tastes like."
I remember thinking that if I were blindfolded and forced to taste and identify this carbonated atrocity, I would have made the following guesses:
1) antifreeze
2) liquid aluminum
3) refrigerant
4) aftershave
5) WD-40
6) melted vinyl
7) my grandmother's urine
8) someone's IV drip
9) pond water
10) some sort of truth serum forced on people before interrogation or being sent to the gulag
It reminded me of my first cigarette. I felt like I might throw up or that my chest would explode - in other words, the universal sign that your body is trying to tell you that you are poisoning yourself.
Besides, it contains aspartame, a substance that is banned in children's products in Europe. And, just to show you how omniscient my comments were, I offer this:
"Aspartame is made of 3 components, 50% phenylalanine, 40% aspartic acid and 10% methanol (wood alcohol). In the body methanol breaks down into formaldehyde (embalming fluid) and formic acid." (source). By the way, formaldehyde is a neurotoxin and a carcinogen.
That made me thirsty.
Technorati Tags: Diet Coke, aspartame
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