Damn Spam!

Apologies if you have received spam from my email account.  Some bastards hacked in and "borrowed" my email account and posted to this blog.  I have had to change my password.  I have no idea how they managed to do it, since my password was not really a word, more like a string of letters and number.

Anyway, if you want to retaliate, feel free to email bomb them using the email addresses listed in their message. 

The hack came from IP 58.49.251.55 in China on January 18th, 2011.

I AM NOT SAFE

Check out this freaky email message I received in two different email accounts:

From DIGO GROUPS izubeidat@psi.uned.es
Sent Monday, October 12, 2009 12:30 pm
Subject YOU ARE NOT SAFE

with respect to you i signed a contrate deal to accasinate you, but my feeling's wont allow me to do that because of your personality. please reaply me now.for forther information.I expect you to reaply withen 3 days of reciveing this message.

I have grown accustomed to all manner of spam that insults my intelligence, like that from Nigerian Princesses, who think that they need my help to cash a cheque. It's ludicrous. But, threatening someone with assassination (or, accasinatation) is going too far, if you ask me.

But, what really irritates me is illiteracy. I know that spammers routinely misspell words to get past spam blockers. So, if it were up to me, I would construct an email filter that blocks any messages with more that a few spelling errors or grievous errors in syntax.

Maybe someone could do that for me. Please!

Moving on Up

The good news just keeps rolling in. Today, I received my invitation from Matthew Johnson to be included in the "Honor Edition" of 2008-2009 edition of Who's Who! Ring the bells. I am famous indeed. Can the book deal/starring role/business opportunities be far behind? I think yes.

Johnson claims that "There is no cost to be included." The lying bastard if full of shit. Madison Who's Who is a vanity press, a vanity press that tries to rope you in with this glorious opportunity, and then they pressure you to bust out the AMEX. Oddly, the email contains a footer that states: "Madison Who's Who is not associated or affiliated with Marquis Who's Who or any other Who's Who." In other words, they stole the name too. Imagine trying to pull off this scam with a librarian! The jerks.

Of course, I confirmed all of this. It seems that lots of people have been offered a not-so-free listing in the upcoming edition. The scam has been reported to the FDIC. If you want shell out cash for a leather-bound book with your name in it, go right ahead. You might also be interested in the National Library of Poetry scam...I mean contest...too.

Help is on the way!

From the spam files:

Small male machine is not a trouble.

You Dont please with your instrument size.

Chicks laugh at you.

You have marvelous chance to solve this trouble.

Try our instrument e;nlargement and Women will adore you promptly.

I used. My wife is really happy.

Thank you, Dr. Kenny Hackett. I have to say that your name doesn't inspire much hope that this product will work.

A Reply to kate from Budgewoi, NSW

I was going to post this in a comment on the original post, but I decided to put it here instead.

kate from Budgewoi NSW wrote:

"Will silly americans ever get it right..."

I am not American! Had Vest or you bothered to read my site or its subtitle, you both would have learned that, plus a whole lot more, but maybe you don't know where Toronto is?

"vest is a master at spoof, harmless as a kitten,..."

A master of spoof? If you think his homophobic insults are spoof, you are as bad as he is. If he had read my blog, he would have learned that I am a nice guy, not to mention the fact that I am not gay (not that there's anything wrong with that), but that wouldn't matter to him anyway. If he hates you, the worst insult he can think of is to accuse you of being gay. That says enough to me about him.

Prejudice has no place in civilized society. He is uncivilized and certainly not harmless. He might as well put on the KKK uniform. His views are out-of-date, hurtful, and opposed to fundamental human rights.

He can't have it both ways. If he wants to throw insults at me and my readers, he should be a man and use his real name (whatever that is) or his blogger name with a link back to his blog, and not hide behind a myriad of pseudonyms.

"...it was he who was goaded initially but few of you are unaware of it..."

What do you mean by "few of you"? Do you mean bloggers? Do you mean Americans? I have never once goaded him. He came to my blog uninvited and acted like a school yard bully. The fact is, Vest and I share similar heritages, but, since his plan of action is to insult, and not to be informed, he never learned that. And, I assume you meant, few of you are aware of it.

Let him retaliate. What's he going to do, call me a faggot, again? It's very tiring and predictable.

"like you hateful people are doing right now."

Vest is the hateful one. He's the one calling people faggots and cock suckers, not me. By defending him, you are as bad as he is. Why do you think I am hateful? I can't defend myself? I asked him several times not to comment on my blog, but he just couldn't help himself. I kept deleting and deleting. He left over 80 comments on one post on another blog.

"I know the guy, you only think you do and wished you could."

Maybe. I am a student of history, and have a graduate degree in history. I have studied war, and wrote a thesis on foreign policy which focused heavily on some military conflicts. When I read about his role in the Royal British Navy on his blog, I was intrigued. The fact is, if he had engaged in web 2.0 discourse like a civilized person, we might have gotten along. But, why would I want to know a bigot?

"ps. Is it a privilege americans have , and that is strike down or bully and not expect retalliation?"

I am not American. You meant retaliation, not retalliation, right? Bully? You are defending the biggest blog bully I have ever had the misfortune to encounter! I think you are also referring to the American Government and the American Military. Trust me, I am not fan of American foreign policy, and, I think that the war in Iraq is obscene. If you or he had read my blog... but I have already said that.

"I feel so sad for you"

Don't. I feel sad for you that are you defending a racist, a homophobe, a sexist, and someone who clearly has no idea what he fought for in WWII.

Technorati Tags: trolls, John Leonard Spencer, Leslie John Bowyer, Christopher Leslie Bowyer, assholes, losers, homophobes, racists, sexists, fascists

He'll be Dead Soon

Look at this face, if you can. I know it's hideous, distorted from a permanent sneer, from a rage brought on by the fact that the world is filled with people he hates. They don't share his racist, homophobic, sexist, and fascist views. He's angry that he has been crippled with impotence, that he smells like an old person, that he is rotting from the inside out. The good news is that this coward will be dead soon. He's half dead now.

Meet John Leonard Spencer, sometimes known as Leslie John Bowyer or Christopher Leslie Bowyer or Les Bowyer. He is the person behind dailygaggle[dot]blogspot[dot]com. He's also the moron I wrote about in this post.

This is the man who has been posting anonymous comments on my blog. It's easy to slander people when one can hide behind a fake name. I deleted most of asinine comments, but some are still there.

Here's an example of the hateful garbage he writes. In my post about Facebook, I left a comment that said:

"Oddly, half of the librarians here are on Facebook..."

His reply was: "And the other half faggots"

This gives you a good idea of this man's values. If he hates you, and he hates everyone, he hurls anti-gay insults. John Leonard Spencer called me a c&#% sucker. It's obvious that he hates himself. I think he should just come out of the closet. What do you say, Leslie?

Johnny has written a book called Waving Goodbye to a Thousand Flies and, because he could not find anyone stupid enough to publish it, he did so himself, via Tafford Publishing, a vanity press that lets any incompetent, uneducated, imbecilic, moronic person publish any drivel they want, as long as they pay for it. He must have saved his cash from his years working as a rent boy. To complete the vain cycle, he comments here and there under the name Leslie Bowyer, to drum up interest in his book. Of his own book, he once said: "I found the book Wholesomly [sic] interesting with few dull moments." It's fraudulent and desperate.

Here's what the reviewers are saying about John Leonard Spencer's book, Waving Goodbye to a Thousand Flies:

"Never have I seen such awful writing. Spencer is a man preoccupied with himself, probably from an early age, when he developed an addiction to masturbation and a love of phallus-shaped vegetables."

"If we judged books by how conceited the author is, Spencer deserves a A+"

"The errors of syntax overwhelm the book. It is difficult to read a book that is so laden with obtuse remarks, and so lacking in any kind of coherent structure."

"A Dog of a book."

"Two thumbs down, way down."

"The publisher should be executed."

"Waving Goodbye to a Thousand Flies is obviously written by a man that has spent most of his life masturbating with chronic frequency. It's clear that he is now impotent, but he has fond memories of bashing the bishop and shoving foreign objects up his rectum."

"Spencer gives credit to Freud's theory of the Oedipus complex, except that he never outgrew it. Spencer is a mommy's boy."

I'm not the only one he has felt the need to pester: he has been trolling tshsmom's site too. He is like an adolescent school boy, desperate for attention.

Beware of this loser. Too bad Blogger won't let us block by IP address.

Host Name 218-215-2-161.people.net.au
IP Address 218.215.2.161
Country Australia
Region New South Wales
City Sydney
ISP Swiftel Communications

Technorati Tags: trolls, John Leonard Spencer, Leslie John Bowyer, Christopher Leslie Bowyer, assholes, losers, homophobes, racists, sexists, fascists

Facebook & Enemies

Well, I finally set up a profile on Facebook, using my real name, not my fishy alias. Aside from the fact that there is no one there from my graduating year in high school, I have only one concern, and you might call it an enhancement request.

When someone adds you as a friend, you can either reject or confirm this action. So, if they are not your friend, you reject. If you hate them, you reject. If they have friended you just because you have listed Captain Beefheart in your musical preferences, you can go either way. But, I think it would make far more sense to be able to add a list of enemies. This would be useful for certain colleagues (the close-talking type). I refer to him as a Facebook whore, because he seems to inhabit that space to the detriment of all else. He found my profile mere minutes after I had set it up.

Then there are those high school losers, who wouldn't really qualify as friends, simply because you knew them (so far, no one like that has crossed paths with me). Maybe it would be more appropriate if they were enemies.

And, finally, we have trolls like Bozo the Brit. He must have very low self-esteem, if his idea of amusement is to leave mean comments on my blog about other people.

By the way, I considered adding a profile to Assbook, but I am far too shy for that.

Technorati Tags: Facebook, social networks, friends, enemies

This just in

From: kristine soerygfsh@illumia-rpg.com

hello, I am pretty russian girl, bored tonight.
would you like to chat with me and see my pics?
if so then email me at ekristine2@mefindhome.info

Oddly, this reminds me of my second Russian language class. I was about to enter a graduate history program in Russian History, and I needed a reading knowledge of Russian. So, I took 5 back-to-back courses at the University of Toronto, and then hired a private tutor with two former classmates for several months.

Class number 2 featured a bookish, balding, and somewhat emaciated dude with thick glasses. He had just received his mail-order Russian bride in the mail. I wondered if she came in a plain brown wrapper, or if the words "Russian Bride" were printed on the box for all to see. Perhaps there was a Russian bride warehouse.

OK, so not really: you couldn't send a person through the mail, especially a Russian bride, because I think that the temptation would have been too much for all of those postal workers, and the box would have been opened long before these men ever received their packages. In fact, I would suspect that many such packages would be lost in the mail.

Back to the story: the man's new Russian friend spoke not one word of English. Well, I think she could say hello and goodbye, but I am not entirely sure. So, he diligently sat there, every week, regretting the lack of a present tense of the verb "to be," learning relevant vocabulary, like "meat salad", "autobus," "escalator," "elevator," "toaster," and phrases like "my neighbour is an eccentric," "I need a doctor," "I like to swim in the Volga River," "how many hours is it," and "when I was a little boy, I liked to play chess."

All of this reminds me that Khrushchev's famous phrase "We will bury you" is open to re-evaluation. The poor translator had to translate on-the-fly, and, if he had time to reflect, he probably would have come up with something like: "We will leave you in our dust," which has an entirely different meaning, if you ask me. In other words, I don't believe that Khrushchev said what we think he said.

Happy Friday.

Technorati Tags: Russian, languages, Khrushchev, spam

Dear Moron

If you are going to insult me, at least do it correctly. I deleted your comment because you are a coward and posted anonymously. If you had been man enough to sign in, I would have left your profane and intolerant comment for everyone to see what a microcephalic imbecile you are.

I am not gay, even though many people assume that I am. So, the beginning of your comment: "Listen up you nerdy faggot" is way off. I do have lots of gay friends, and I think that all gay people should be treated equally. By the way, I am sure you will be happy to hear that Ontario's Health Minister, George Simtherman, has announced that he will be marrying his partner, Christopher Peloso.

You must really hate gay people if the first thing out of your mouth is an anti-gay statement. You are a coward and a homophobe. I can't quote the next part of your ungrammatical comment in which you reference a certain sexual act that many people (both men and women) enjoy. The first two things you can think to use as insults are anti-gay?

You remind me of a famous organization that was eager to promote its cause by hiding behind white gowns and masks. I imagine you liked to hide behind your mamma's skirt too, right?

I have to hand it to you though: you do have a way with language, although you forgot the punctuation. Let's take this example: "so you ass licking poofter with no bollocks watch your step." Watch my step, or what? Are you going to get on a plane and track me down? It's a really long flight, you know. And "poofter"? - another anti-gay reference. How tiring.

The truth is, I know who you are and if you ever leave a comment like that I will post your URL for everyone to see what a total bastard you are.

Technorati Tags: idiots

399

This is post #399.

Update (3 hours later): OK, so that was a lame post. I changed the comments section, 'cause I have received somewhere in the range of like, 1000 spam comments recently. I was doing domain registration look ups and emailing customer support addressed on various web pages, all to no avail. The bastards kept it coming. So, I opted to edit this template to accept the original Blogger comments with word verification.

Technorati Tags: blogging, spam

Soup Nazi is Here

As I previously mentioned on this blog, the Soup Nazi is here. I took this rather bad picture of the kiosk in the Eaton Centre. They were distributing free samples, but I did not take one, since I would have had to ask tons of questions about the ingredients.

The Spam keeps coming. I have had about 250 spam comments on this blog recently. Unfortunately, this template does not support Blogger's keyword verification, so I really might have to change templates to those boring Blogger ones. In other spam news, I got this bizarre email:

From: jennifer aniston
To: zydecofish@gmail.com
Date: Mar 21, 2006 8:57 PM
Subject: hi honey

Just wanted to make sure you got those anal beads I sent you, those fuckin' couriers can be so nosey.

Love,

J.

Note: My real name is not even Vinnie. I guess this is some sort of Vince Vaughn joke.

Technorati Tags: Soup Nazi, Soup Man, Blogger, spam

Meetings, Bloody Meetings

Somehow, by some odd turn of events, I have to endure hours of meetings today. Weeks go by with few such events, aside from the weekly - and partially dysfunctional - Council meeting, and then I get stuck with a day just chalk full of group dynamics and opportunities to learn and share with colleagues. I should be grateful, but I know that I will end up with a sore ass. I have thought of taking along my office chair, but that seems like too much work.

Besides, the longer I am away, the less time I have to read email, and I learn so much from email. For example, today I have already learned a great deal about Filipina women:

Sexy Filipina Girls
Why choose a Filipina? Women from the Philippines are noted for their beauty, grace, charm and loyalty. With their sweet nature and shy smiles, Filipina's posses an inner beauty that most men find irresistible. Filipinas are by their nature family-orientated, resourceful and devoted. What's more, English is one of the official languages of the Philippines, so communication is straight forward, and as the majority of Filipinas are Christian, cultural compatibility is easier than some other Asian countries. With the help of our website you can find a filipina in your area

Now you know too.

I have been a bad Blogger, and have failed to visit many of my fav blogs recently. I apologize for that.

Technorati Tags: meetings, my ass, Filipina Girls

Is Sam Clemens an Ass?

A Mark Twain wannabe left an idiotic comment on my previous post. The deranged chap states:

I don't know what is worse,the montane subject matter,or the fact that so many peole have no lifes that they actually stop and read this kind of worthless trival.
I review Blogs,that's what they pay me for anyhow,and I am always in search for some new talent.
I send my reviews to over 400 Yahoo and Google groups all over the world,thereby promoting myself by promoting them,so if you know where I can find a good blog that as an original theme backed by good writing with at least an attempt at originality(see past reviews for sample)let me know!Must dash,the search continues,there's nothing here so....

How about reviewing the blog for what it is, not for what you'd like it to be. I am certain you would not recognize good writing if it bit you in the ass. After all, your comment has many grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. ("peole", "lifes", "trival" plus comma splices, and punctuation failures).

Thanks Jeff for your comment.

And, so you don't have to dig through the comments, here is what I told this jerk in the comments of the last post:

Sam, have you read my entire blog, over 300 posts? Didn't think so. Did I say anywhere that I was attempting to write something other than "worthless trival [sic]?" No. So, your opinion means shit.

How about this: I have been published at last two dozen times in popular, trade, and academic journals. Did it ever occur to you that a blog might have a different purpose? Obviously not.

I am not sure I can respect the opinion of a man who has a blog with only a handful of posts, the last written over three weeks ago.

Besides, if you were a good reviewer, you would offer constructive criticism and not insults. Yes, I have published several book reviews too in real publications, not self-published and congratulatory online junk like your so-called reviews.

You are the one that clearly has no life. You know nothing of mine or the people who comment here, so take your garbage comments elsewhere and don't read this blog. Your comment here makes you look like a big loser. So, screw off.

I'll answer my own question. Yes he is. Oh, and WTF do you mean by "montane subject matter?" I don't believe I have ever referred to mountains in any post.

Update: And I am not the only one who holds this opinion. Read this post, wherein Mr. Clemens is given the inaugural '“Total Fucking Prat of the Blogosphere'” award.

Another Update: Sam is a liar: he has left the same comments on other blogs, like this one and this one. If you visit his blog (there's no reason to as it is quite awful), you will see that his last post was devoted to reviewing two blogs that are clearly also written by him. These are And From the Ashes and The Road Down. He also has posted messages in Yahoo! Groups under the name of H.D. Forbes promoting The Road Down. He has another blog called The View from Outside and The Abuse Ends Now. It is painfully obvious that all of these blogs are written (and I use that term loosely) by the same person, as were the comments left here. I'm not the first person to point out that he is rude. It's clear that I am right, otherwise he would not have deleted the comment I left on his blog, where I pointed out his fraudulent act. Reviewing one's own blog under an alias is a fairly desperate act. He needs help.

Technorati Tags: jerks, assholes, Sam Clemens

Penile Recommendations

Some spam I really love, like this one:

Have you ever wanted to impress your girl? Now you could grant your wish! Be realistic ? you always wanted it! Try SPUR-M now! Use this tab regularly and you'll have the best sex!

And in the same day:

You gape for ejaculating like you had seen in porno films? I am sure it was! This successful product is created especially for you, guys! Use this tab regularly and you'll have the best sex! Worried it won't work?

Both had links to different URLs. Both carried the subject line "Penile Recommendations." Both were obviously written by someone with an unparalleled mastery of the English language.

I have said before that there is no way I would ever purchase anything that was advertised to me via spam, especially anti-spam software advertised to them via spam! That makes no sense at all.

Who buys products that they have heard about via spam? I really want to know how these jokers make money.

Technorati Tags: spam

I've been Headhunted...I think

It could be a scam. I might reply and be told that I have to fork over a few grand as an up-front investment, but you never know. The funny thing is, I have received four "job offer" messages recently. Should I be suspicious?

Here's what tipped me off: the broken English that makes it sounds like that Nigerian fraud. One message told me that I simply need the following skills:

* Be able to check your email several times a day
* Be able to respond to emails immediately
* Be able to work overtime if needed
* Be responsible and hard working

I check my email continuously, even while sleeping. I often don't reply to email until days, and sometimes weeks, later. Overtime? Who needs it? I am neither responsible nor hardworking, but don't tell my boss.

Perhaps the most fascinating one was from a guy who wants me to work for his Lithuanian software company. I really don't see Lithuania as being on the cutting edge of software development. Nothing against Lithuania, I mean, they have a hard go of it, what with being in then out of the Russian Empire and then fighting with Poland over Vilnius.

I also got one of those crazy fraud emails from some dude with the unlikely name of Mr. Tang Karl Letian. Imagine being named after a famous drink?

My most recent guest post at Mister Anchovy. This double duty is wearing me down. Next time, I will levy a large fee :-)

Technorati Tags: spam

Suddenly, the Rolex spam has become Movado, Dior, and Roger Dubuis spam. Oddly, the sig line of the guy who sent one message identifies himself as "rat-catcher." I think he is the rat. At least these messages are not profane, like others I have received recently. I can't even include the subject lines here without offending someone or making others blush.

I have been neglecting this blog recently. It seems like so much work just to login.

I haven't seen any movies recently. I am half way through Some Great Thing by Colin McAdam. It's OK, but it's not as good as some of the reviews would have you believe. I no longer trust reviews, although I have to say that the review of Eleanor Rigby (by Douglas Coupland) in the Star recently was right on. This link to the review will probably expire soon.

You can tell that this is a slow news day. Oh, today is National Cotton Candy Day, but I am not sure which nation it applies to. I'm just waiting for the National Chocolate Covered Anything Day.

Technorati tags: spam, reading, Colin McAdam, Douglas Coupland

This is why I read the newspaper. Just yesterday's, I read that 65 million guinea pigs are consumed annually in Peru. Not only that, some Peruvian Scientists have bred a super guinea pig that weighs twice as much (and that means they only weigh one pound). They hope that other nations will accept these furry creatures as a new dish. I figure if you eat meat (and I do, after several years as a vegetarian) then anything goes. I really can't see stuffed guinea pig on any menus in Toronto anytime soon. You never know, they could be tasty little guys.

I am not sure what happened, but I have received a flood of Rolex spam. This is no exaggeration: I have received between five and six Rolex ads in my email box every day for the past week, and they are all from different addresses. If I really wanted a Rolex, I think I would buy from a reputable dealer. And, anyway, even if I were fabulously wealthy, I would never buy a Rolex.

Today is the day that the new Leonard Cohen CD comes out. I'll have to run out an get it at lunch.

I have no plans to attend any Hallowe'en parties. I never know what to wear. I guess I have yet to find my perfect costume. I have tried, over the years, a pirate (complete with puffy shirt), dracula, etc. Nothing seems to work. I am happy to entertain suggestions.

Tags: guinea pigs, spam

I am Superman?

Warner Bros wants me for Superman the Movie. I just received my personal invitation to "participate as an 'Act' in the induction, casting and making of 'SUPERMAN THE MOVIE' which will be In Theaters by july 2006." Wow! What luck! But, I hope someone can tell me what this sentence means: "We will acknowledge your altruistic effort and appreciate your recognition. Selection of applicants and first shots of SUPERMAN V" will hold in three locations which includes Spain, London and Grecce [sic]." Needs a proofread, but who cares? I'll be famous soon.

Not only am I invited, I am required to send my CV. Clearly, Warner Bros has recognized that librarians are Super people. I am also required to send a fee of $150, with this warning: "NOTE: Failure to oblige will result to cancellation of your application."

I always wanted to be in pictures.

Tags: spam

I Get Spam

Today, I got this:

"Hi, it's me Kimberly... my fiancé is on a business trip I have a on-line profile you can check it out...if you are looking for a sexy relationship we can meet each other http://www.hotladiestodate.com/899394/cheatinghousewifeservices/fullpage.html"

Sounds promising. Speaking of spam, I often get strange email messages from Chinese exporters of all kinds of beans. Why me, I ask. I have written back, informing them that I am not a great consumer of beans, but I have gotten no reply. Maybe they know something that I don't?

I have often received those Nigerian fraud messages. You know, I am the son of so-and-so and if you give me thousands of dollars, I will give you even more in return, once I pay something to someone for something. To these people, I have been blunt. I'd post examples of my replies here, but it might offend you. Oddly, they have not replied either.

My favourite spam has to be the one that promises an end to spam simply by purchasing their product. Would you buy spam blocking software that was advertised via spam? I think not.

Tags: spam